DISCONTINUED - The Corona Fic

The Journey To Wuhan

Having successfully sold numerous foot pictures, I collected enough funds to book a flight to China.

Though my "human friend" expressed reluctance about my departure, I remained indifferent, choosing to leave with the anthem of "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen reverberating through the speakers of my trusty Nokia Brick.

As I navigated the airport, a wave of uncertainty washed over me. However, a resolute belief that I was embarking on this journey for love quelled my second thoughts. At that moment, I convinced myself I had nothing to lose.

After an 11-hour journey, I finally touched down at Wuhan Airport. Eagerly, I scanned the surroundings for my supposed Shrek in shining armour, Winnie.

Much to my dismay, the reality didn't match my expectations – he turned out to be a roadman! 😱😔

Frustration set in as I lamented my unsuccessful attempt to escape roadmen, discovering they even found their way to China. Dammit, my efforts to evade them seemed futile.

As I approached the roadman, the first thing he uttered was, "Wag wan bruv, you peng innit."

Those words lingered in the air, a haunting refrain that seemed destined to echo throughout my life.

Attempting to win me over, he proposed, "wanna hang at the market? The food there is bangin'."With a hesitant "Yeah, sure," we ventured towards the local market.

Amidst the bustling market, murmurs about a newfound threat called the Coronavirus filled the air. Reports hinted at casualties, but my indifference stemmed from the deeper wounds of being catfished, a pain so profound it made thoughts of death seem like a refuge.

Choosing a form of self-imposed starvation, I refrained from ordering any food. However, 'Winnie,' the orchestrator of my recent disillusionment, went ahead and ordered bat soup. To my disbelief, the dish that arrived was an actual bat, which he shamelessly consumed.

Winnie glanced at me with an audacious remark, "You got beef fam? I just eatin' me bat soup, you uncultured swine."

With a surge of disappointment, I decided to leave. His grip tightened on my arm as he uttered, "I'm disappointed in you y/n, I did think you were bait." Spitting in my face, he finally released his grip.

In a desperate escape, I ran, searching for a sanctuary. A dark alleyway caught my eye, and I sought refuge behind a dustbin. The sky mirrored the gloom in my heart as darkness descended, accompanied by the relentless fall of rain.

I mumbled, "pathetic fallacy..."