The list

Chapter 4: In Which There is a Not So Bright Plan

The Top Ten Reasons Why Harry and I Clearly Would Not Make a Good Couple

By Hermione Jane Granger

1. We're best friends.

2. He thinks I should change my name to Lena .

3. We're too different...wait...no.

4. We're too alike...no...we're not that either...

5. WE'RE BEST FRIENDS! Wait...I already used that one, didn't I?

6. Ginny thinks it's a good idea, and Ginny's always wrong. Well, okay, actually she's not. But in this case, she is.

7. I think it's a bad idea, and I'm always right. Well, actually, when it comes to romance I have no idea what I'm doing...but that's not the point.

8. ...er...we're...best friends...I can use that three times, right? Okay, right.

9. Damnit. I have to get back to this one.

"The little unremembered acts of kindness and love are the best parts of a person's life."

-William Wordsworth

"What do you mean you won't take it down?" Hermione demanded of her apathetic head mistress.
"I mean that I won't take it down, Miss Granger," sniffed Professor McGonagall. "And here I thought you were the brightest witch in the school."

After all Hermione had been through this morning, she had half the mind to snap at Professor McGonagall for being condescending. However, Hermione knew she'd regret such a decision tomorrow when she'd be stuck in detention and possibly tested for insanity, and instead replied, "You don't understand, Professor. It's intruding on my personal life. It's causing a complete ruckus amongst the Gryffindors, and it'll only get worse as the day goes on and it spreads throughout the school!"

"I don't know why it bothers you so much that people think so highly of your relationship with Mr. Potter," McGonagall tsked. "When I was your age, I would have adored knowing that everyone approved of my relationship with the one man I loved most."

Hermione blinked twice as she let McGonagall's words pierce her mind, and then dropped her jaw open and half-coughed, half-laughed. She knew Harry had put McGonagall on the list, but for Merlin's sake, she had truly thought that he was joking!

"Professor!" Hermione gasped. "You don't honestly think that Harry and I are...that we're...that is to say..."

"Going out?" McGonagall asked, staring at Hermione curiously. "Of course I do, Miss Granger. All of the teachers were under the impression that you were. And after seeing you two on the Quidditch Pitch that one afternoon..."

"Quidditch pitch?" Hermione asked, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"When Mr. Potter tried to teach you how to properly ride a broom," McGonagall reminded her.

Hermione furrowed her brows and frowned. "He wasn't teaching me how to ride a broom," she said hotly. "He was trying to force me onto one to see whether or not I'd die."

"Is that right?" McGonagall asked, her lips curling into a rarely seen smirk.

"Yes, that's right," Hermione exclaimed in an exasperated tone. She contained her urge to shake the woman standing in front of her. "Harry and I are just friends. Now can you please get someone to take that horrendous article down?"

"If you're just friends, I don't see why it should bother you so much," McGonagall pursed her lips.

Hermione bit the inside of her cheek and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. "Because," she explained slowly, "everyone is now under the impression that we are dating, and such rumors aren't healthy for a platonic relationship such as ours!"