The list

Chapter 2: In Which Ginny Writes an Essay

The Top Ten People Who Believe that Hermione Granger and Harry Potter are Dating

As recorded by Harry Potter

1. Ginevra "Ginny" Weasley

2. Ronald "Ron" Weasley

3. Terry Boot

4. Molly Weasley

5. Mrs. Granger

6. Luna Lovegood

7. Professor McGonagall

8. Draco Malfoy

9. Cho Chang

10. Viktor Krum

"Love is a friendship set to music."

-E. Joseph Cossman

As was custom on Saturdays, Harry and Hermione spent the day not in the Head's common room, but in the Gryffindor Tower. It was a way to make certain that they weren't cut off from their fellow seventh years and, apparently, a great opportunity for said fellow students to demand to know how far Harry and Hermione had gotten.
At the moment, however, no such accusations had arisen, and Hermione was taking the time to examine Harry's so-called list.

"Oh come on, Harry," Hermione rolled her eyes, "That list is completely wrong—"

"Is not," Harry muttered under his breath.

"—and you know it." Hermione crossed her arms across her chest as she finished, a sure sign that she was going to remain stubborn, as per usual.

"You can't honestly think that they're all wrong!" Harry exclaimed, clearly slightly frustrated.

"They are," insisted Hermione. Harry raised his eyebrow at her. "Okay, so maybe a few of them are correct, but really – Cho? Viktor? Malfoy? Professor McGonagall? My mum?"

"Cho and Viktor both believed that there was something going on between us when we were going out with them," Harry explained rationally. "Professor McGonagall asked me just last week what I planned on getting you for our five month anniversary (she suggested a jewelry store in Hogsmeade), Malfoy wanted to know if Ron and I were still friends now that I was going out with the...well, you know what he said. And I'll have you know that the last time I met your mother, she said, and I quote, 'The Bar on St. Agnes would be a marvelous place to hold a wedding. Hermione's been fond of Italy since she was a little girl, and the beach there is simply breathtaking.'"

Hermione's mouth dropped open. "I never heard her say that to you!"

"When we came back last year, she pulled me over to the side while you were talking with your father."

"Oh I'm going to kill her," Hermione seethed. "How could she do something so underhanded? I already told her during winter break that we were not, under any circumstances, going out!"

"She's probably just hopeful," Harry shrugged, dabbing his quill his ink well and then returning to the parchment in order to underline Ginny's name five times and mark it with a star.

"Oh don't be conceited," Hermione said as she made a disgusted face. "You may have saved the wizarding world, but you're not that great."

"Try telling that to the five hundred girls who send me fan mail everyday," Harry said, giving out an exasperated and highly melodramatic sigh. Hermione couldn't help but express her amusement, but her laughter subsided once she noticed, out of the corner of her eye, Ginny working very hard on what appeared to be an essay. Now, Ginny was much more responsible with her homework than Ron or Harry, but all the same, it was a Saturday, and nobody in their right mind worked on their homework on a Saturday. Well, except for Hermione, that is. Then again, Hermione thought, many people would probably reason that she was insane.