I Don't Understand It

The Shock of Sickness

A/N: Legally I don't own or have any affiliation with Degrassi or Epitome, just the idea.

The title for this story comes from a line said by John-Boy Walton to his father in The Inferno episode (about The Hindenburg disaster) of 'The Waltons', which I also have no affiliation with.

Things to know:

Clare and Eli didn't get back together after Cam's death so he doesn't know about Asher or cancer

This story is a lot of conversation rather than action, but this is needed.

(OWEN)

"Why?" is all I can say as I look down at the girl lying in my arms in the hospital bed asleep. She had already been through tests in the emergency room, and was now set up in her own room, but no one has really told me anything, but let me sit with her.

"Owen?" a voice in the room questions, making me look up from the still beautiful but pale face. Standing just inside the door is Drew, with a teary eyed Bianca.

"What happened?" Bianca whispers, unable to get any louder through her tears.

I have to take a deep breath and look down at the face lying on my chest before I look up at two of my best friends. "You're gonna want to sit for what I have to tell you," I tell them. "We were outside dancing together in the backyard, and there weren't too many people outside at that point, and then she fainted in my arms." I hear Bianca gasp. "So I carried her up to my room, laid her on my bed and got her a drink of water, cause I thought she just fainted from the heat. It is late June after all," I get out before I'm interrupted.

"It wasn't just the heat then?" Bianca asks, her voice is a little stronger now.

"No, she said it wasn't. So I gave her a few sips and got her to wake up and she smiled up at me. Did you know how bright her blue eyes are? They look like an unending ocean, but like they were searching my soul." I stop talking and smile at the memory of her waking and looking up at me.

"Never looked close enough for that," Drew comments with a laugh.  They must have noticed my smile.

Bianca smacks his arm lightly. "You like her don't you?" she asks looking at me, and I know I'm blushing. I nod slightly and I'm about to answer her when in walks a nurse, who is looking slightly panicked. She looks at the bed and then the chart in her hand again before she says anything, and I can see we all look slightly more worried now.

"I just got on shift and saw her name on the chart and rushed right in," she tells us. "I didn't even know she was sick."

"I'm sorry, but are you like this with all your patients, or is this a special case?" Bianca questions. She gets snarky when she's annoyed, and it comes out even worse if she's upset. "Cause if you don't have specific news on her condition, then get out, because you're interrupting a very important story," Bianca finishes glaring at the young nurse who looks only a few years older than us, and now looks shocked on top of panicked and upset.

"Bianca," I say in a semi-harsh tone to my friend before turning my head. "I'm sorry about that. We're all just on edge waiting for news," I tell the nurse.

"Thank you," the nurse tells me, "but it's alright. I'm just as worried as you all are. My name's Emma Nelson-Mason and I've known Clare since she was little. My husband and I are both friends with her sister Darcy, and think of Clare as a little sister, and we aren't the only ones. As she's gotten older we haven't had as much chance to spend time together though," she tells us, and reaches out to shake each of our hands.

"I'm Owen, this is Bianca and Drew," I say, motioning toward them both. "I'm glad she has some family around even if you aren't related. I didn't realize she had a sister, just her step-brother Jake."

"Ya, Darcy moved to Africa when Clare was starting grade 9 at Degrassi for personal reasons and after the first year decided to stay," Emma tells us and this worries me a little. "I'm glad she has the three of you, although I'm surprised Helen isn't here being her bitchy, controlling self," Emma comments and we all laugh a bit. "I have to get to work, and call my husband about Clare, but if I find out anything on her condition I'll let you guys know," she tells us.

"Thanks, and I'm sorry for the remark," Bianca tells Emma.

"It's alright," Emma says with a small smile toward Bianca before she leaves the room.

I look down at Clare still in my arms asleep. I know about her parent's divorce and her mom marrying Glen Martin giving Clare her former boyfriend Jake, as a step-brother. I had only met her mom once, and she seemed a little bitchy but I thought maybe it was a bad day, but from the way Emma spoke, maybe that's how Helen has always been. But Clare always seemed happy and could deal with what came at her positively, especially when it came to her faith. But from what Clare and what little Emma just said, maybe there's more to Clare's past and her life then I knew. I mean, I didn't even know she had a sister.

I look up into the quiet room and break the silence. "Did either of you know about Clare's sister?" I ask them. Bianca shakes her head at me.

"I remember Adam once mentioning Clare having an older sister, but at the time I didn't really know Clare so I didn't think much of it," Drew says. "As she was never around, I just figured she was away at school or something, not living in Africa."

"I wonder what would have made her move to Africa? Especially just when Clare was starting high school and could have used her older sister," Bianca speaks up and I look at her. "What? Just because I didn't have a sister doesn't mean I don't know how much having an older sister, especially at that age can mean to a girl," she says somewhat defensively.

I realize now that I want to learn more about Clare's family and past. As she can't tell me right now I think Emma would be the person to talk to.

"So how about more of that story?" Bianca speaks up, knocking me out of my thoughts.

For a moment I have to remember where I left off. "Right, she woke up and I really noticed her eyes for the first time," I start, smiling again. "But I was worried about her, and I asked her to tell me what was going on. She told me she needed to start at the beginning, which meant grade 10, and would get to why she fainted as the story went on. So I held her as we lay on my bed and she told me about meeting Eli and their connection," I role my eyes as I say this. Her rebellious reaction to her parent's divorce and dealing with Eli's issues with hoarding and Julia, which I knew only as school gossip. She told me about Eli crashing his car for her, and writing that play about him, Clare and Fitz. Plus how Katie made the play Clare's newspaper assignment for the year, which was quite awkward."

"Ok, I'm sure everyone at school knows parts or versions of all of that stuff between Clare and Eli, but I didn't know Katie made Clare do the play to be on the paper," Drew says interrupting me. "But shouldn't that stuff have tipped Clare off to something not being right with Eli? I mean he crashed a car, he hoarded. Adam told me he shot Julia's photo for crying out loud."

"Love is blind, but Clare did break up with him knowing something wasn't right, which is why he crashed his car," Bianca points out to her boyfriend.

"You're right Bianca, love can be blind when it's not right," I tell my friends before I continue with the story.

~meeting_meghan

Please let me know what you think.

Also, you may recognize this story from when it was posted on fanfiction.net years ago.  I'm editing it, and splitting the chapters up by POV to post here.