Hunter x hunter : another reason why Ging left gon..

A while after checking on gon

It has been a while since I last checked on gon.. I do hope he's doing ok. I would have raised him myself but he never wanted me to let go of him or out of his sight.

When that did happened, he would start crying and searching for me and I didn't want him to get hurt. We did have a few close calls.. which is why I gave him to mito. To keep him safe long enough for him to make his own decision.

The decision he makes can change many things. He can decide if he wants to see me, and at one point he will if that's the case, but on the other hand, if he decides not to see me, he never will. It all depends on what he decides to do and if he changed or not...if he didn't change and wants to see me...well let's just say things may not go right...if he did change, even the slightest bit of change, and wants to see me.. that might be better.

Because even the slightest change can be for the better or worse. I just hope it was for the better. I do miss him and would love to raised him but that would have only hurt gon. I don't want gon to be hurt because of me, I will be satisfied with knowing my child is happy with his life, either that includes me or not, it doesn't matter, all I want is for gon to be happy with whatever he does and lives life to the fullest.

He doesn't need me, he never really did, after all, I am his father, I should know what is right for gon. Even if I may be wrong to others, I wanted him to be safer then he was with me, and happier then when he was with me.

Gon can live without me if he wants, if he wants to include me in his live when he's old enough to make that decision, then he can, if he doesn't, then it'd just his choice after All.

No one will ever force him to do what he doesn't want to. He can live without regret, I will make sure of it, after all, so many people own me debts that I can call in any time. I can use those to help gon without being there in person, but if they ever really truly needed me, I'll be there.

I am really powerful after all, I can defeat all of the phantom troupe by myself if I wanted to, and a lot of people owe me a lot of different debts I can call in, other that that, they might help me even if they down owe me one.

But still, I'd rather call in the debt to help gon out without being there in person. I can watch him from afar, I'm perfectly fine with that. Gon has quite a few friends already, which makes me happy. I can be satisfied with knowing my own son is happy with or without me.

He can live without me just like I can live without him like I use to do before he was born. But that doesn't mean I won't keep a eye on him to make sure he's alright, and living life to the fullest without any regret. One of those regrets that he might have, which I would help him avoid, is not being able to help his friends when the time comes.

So when that happens, I will personally come and deal with it so that he won't have that one regret I know he will get if he couldn't help his friends, after all, he takes after me in that.

I might have some regrets in live, but it doesn't mean I'll just let myself keep regretting everything and not live life to the fullest, when I was I kid though, it would sometimes get to me.

So I'm worried it might be the same for gon and I don't want that to happen so I'll personally come and help gon if that ever happens. But for now, it hasn't happened yet, I wonder if anyone knows I can fully revive people without any side affects and consequences?

Then again... no one knows that old death owes me a lot...especially for that accident...I won't talk about that accident yet.. but it does involve reincarnation without past most memories except feelings..and a few other things. I mean, yeah i did get reborn, but it's not like I remember much of my past life except a few memories, I also have my feelings that remember my past life fully, so they also help guild me.

So I know if somethings bad were to happen, my feelings would guild me in their own little way. So yeah death gave me the ability to bring back people to live without side affects and consequences.

Which made me a bit relieved for some reason.

Which is why I know it's apart of my feelings helping me, so I know I'm going to need to use that ability at some point. I just don't know when yet, but I'm guess soon since my feelings are practically screaming at me In my head, 'soon, soon, soon! Need that ability!' Is what my feelings are telling me right now.

Yes I know, how can my feelings tell me anything? Well that's also apart of what death gave me before I was ging. It said it was something like hyper intuition or something like that. I don't know what he meant by that but since I feel gleeful about having it, it must have been a good deal.

That was before I was ging, so death said he was going to take most of my memories until I die again, he left some behind to help me become who I am today.

But I don't mind, at least for right now, but I might mind when I do get my memories back. But for right now, I don't really care about my past life anyway. Now probably most people would and want their memories back, but not me. I don't need those memories to get in my way of living out my life as it is now.

So I don't care about it yet, not until I die again. Hmm.. I wonder if I should check on gon soon? It has been about two or so weeks since I last physically checked on him and not monitor him from afar. 'Do it, do it soon, soon, soon! Need ability soon!' My feelings scream at me again. I would if I should just call it hyper intuition? I'll think about it later I thought as I headed back in to get some sleep. Yeah I think I'll check on him in about a day or two from now. I thought 'yes... soon!' They said as I slowly fell asleep.

___*___*___*___*____*____*____*___*
Finally finished with 1178 words, hope you all don't mind this chapter being like this and it might have surprised you all when you read this. Well hope you like and comment what you think, ja ne~!