Like Dizzy Gillespie's Cheeks

Twenty-eight

It was time to call Max. It was time to reach out. It was time that he helped me for once, God damn it.

Max always got up early to take a run, so I knew I wouldn't be waking him when I called. It was Tracy that I was worried about. She, like me, loves a good night's sleep into day.

With the aide of caller ID, Max answered on the first ring.

"What the fuck are you doing up so early?"

"I haven't been to bed yet."

"What's going on?"

"I took Kate to the Fish Market last night, and then we went to breakfast."

There was a pause.

"Can you hang on for a second?" Max said.

No, I thought. I need to talk now. What the fuck is going on?

"Sorry, I had to grab the portable so I could strip and talk at the same time. I'm about to jump in the shower."

"Thanks for the update."

"So you took Kate to the fucking Fish Market. This is serious shit. No wonder you're calling. I thought you didn't like her."

There are certain times in my life when I get feelings that take me back to my past. Things I say or do trigger a certain time or period in my life (that for the most part, I'd just as soon forget). Having this conversation felt like I was back in high school. Do I like her, don't I like her? Of course saying you don't like her, can't stand her guts, only means you're madly in love with her.

"I guess I was wrong. And at this point, yes, fucking confused."

"What's to be confused about? She's everything you don't deserve. And frankly, I'm surprised she's into you."

"Wow, really glad I called for support."

"You know what I mean." Max tried to make it better.

"No, frankly, I don't."

At that point, I knew what it was like to miss someone like Ben. Although Ben didn't sugarcoat things, he had a way of talking that made the bad news seem not so bad. And this wasn't even bad news. It was just something I didn't know how to handle ... my feelings.

"Why don't you jump in your shower. I'm sure you're late for an appointment or something."

"Is this about the gig that canceled? Because if it is, that's totally bogus. I tried everything to get you in, but they already had their minds set."

At times Max could be so thick. And this was one of those times.