Where do I belong?

A year later

No one's POV:

A year has passed since Izzy was adopted by Alex and Perrie. The first couple of months were challenging for everyone. Perrie was struggling with her mental health which resulted in the band taking a 6-month break. It is now July and leading up to Perrie's birthday and also when Little mix is starting back at work. Perrie has been dreading going back to work. She is worried it will cause her too much stress and she'll go back to her old ways. The past of months for Perrie have been better, she is starting to find her feet again with the help of the girls and Alex. Alex is back to playing football for Liverpool. He has been starting and scoring goals too. Izzy is a proud daughter when she goes to watch him and his teammates in Anfield and on away days. She never misses a game. You could almost describe it as her therapy from her past. It is 90 minutes where she can watch and forget all her worries. 

Back to reality...

Alex's POV:

'IZZY, breakfast!' Izzy legs it down the stairs and rushes into the kitchen. 'Hey, Dad, what's for breakfast today?'. 'Mum made pancakes, they are on the table so just help yourself'. 'Thanks, dad. Where is mum, I haven't seen her this morning or last night. She didn't say goodnight to me' Izzy tells me with a sad look in her eyes. 

Perrie was starting to get better but this week I'm not too sure. Every morning she wakes up early makes breakfast and then goes back upstairs either hiding away in her room or on the balcony of our bedroom. I usually just shrug it off but now that Izzy has started to notice too, I best say something. 

'I think she is just a little stressed babe, she has to go back to work next week and I think she isn't looking forward to it. Why don't you eat your pancakes and go and get dressed? I'll take you to the park this morning. How about that? I ask Izzy. 

'Alright, Dad' she says with food stuffed in her mouth. With that, I laugh and make my way up to find Perrie. As I approach our room, I hear some sniffling like Perrie is crying. I wait a moment as I hear her speak. 'Should I really be here? I don't think I'm enough'. With that, I walk into the room, to find Perrie in bed with a tearstained face. 'Of course, you're enough babe, and you should be here. I love you so much and so does Izzy. You are the best mum for our perfect little daughter. There's no way I'm letting you go anywhere.' 

'I sorry Alex, I didn't mean for you to hear that. The voices in my head are coming back. I'm scared. What if I can't cope? I have to go back to work and I don't think I can.' She says before bursting into tears. 'Babe, you will be okay. I'm here. You have the girls. Your mum only lives down the road. My mum is next door. We are all here for you. I know it has been the hardest couple of months but you are getting stronger. I promise it will all be okay' I say trying to comfort her. We stay huddled together for about 10 minutes before Perrie speaks up again. 'Umm, babe...' She says scared. Instead of talking, she takes her left arm and pulls back her baggy hoodie. As she pulls it back I see 3 fresh cuts on her wrist. She starts to cry. Instead of talking, I hold her tight to comfort her and to let her know its okay. 

A while later, I hear a knock at the door. 'Dad are we going to the park now... Mum, why are you crying? Izzy askes confused. Perrie lifts her head and wipes her tears from her face. 'I'm okay Izzy don't worry about me' Perrie says calmly. She looks at Izzy and she is staring at something. Just then I realise Izzy can see Perrie's cuts on her wrist. A moment later, Izzy runs away and starts crying down the hall until she reaches her room where we hear her door slam.

'Babe, she saw your wrist' I say hesitantly. 'Oh my God, I promised her I would stop, I told her that if I stopped then she had to stop. I've lied to her Alex. I'm such a bad mum. Perrie quickly says as her breathing gets faster. She is on the verge of a panic attack. I pick Perrie up and put her on my lap. I lay her on her back so she can feel my heart. 'Perrie just breathe okay, it's going to be okay. Just copy my breathing and my heartbeat.' I think it's working as Perrie's body starts to calm down and get heavier indicating that she is falling asleep. I wait about 5 minutes until I know she is definitely asleep. I carefully move her onto the bed and cover her with the duvet. I reach for my phone on the bedside table and ring the one person I know can help us right now. 

'Hello, who is this?' 

'Jade it's Alex. Are you busy right now? It is kinda an emergency'

'Oh god, what's happened is everyone okay... I'm on my way...'

The line goes dead before she could finish her sentence and I could reply. Within, minutes Jade is at the door. 'Alex, what's going on?' She asks concerned. I take her into the living room. 'So this morning Izzy asked me where Perrie was as she has been quite distant recently. I left Izzy to have breakfast and went to find Perrie. I found her in bed crying and saying that she wasn't good enough. I then cuddled her for a while and told her that she was loved. Once she had stopped crying she spoke and showed me 3 fresh cuts on her wrist before bursting into tears again. We stayed hugging until Izzy came into the room and saw Perrie's wrist and ran. She's in her room but I couldn't go to check on Izzy as Perrie had a panic attack. I just don't know what to do anymore Jade, I thought we had sorted this'. I say concerned. 

'Oh Alex, I'm sorry. Let me go and sit with Perrie, she'll wake up soon. And I think you should go and see Izzy'. 

'Alright, thanks Jade. I was starting to panic and didn't know how I was going to cope.' Jade smiles at me and then leaves the room to go and find a sleeping Perrie. I make my way upstairs and into Izzy's room. I walk through the door to see Izzy under the covers sobbing. I make my way over to the bed and sit down. I lift the covers to find a sad Izzy staring at me. 'I'm sorry I ran off Dad, I just saw Mum's wrists and panicked. She promised me she would stop. We stopped together. But she lied...' She spoke while crying. 'Izzy, it's okay. We all make mistakes. I promise your mum will be okay. We have each other and we can get through this together... I promise yo...' With that Jade rushes in, 'Alex shes gone... I've looked everywhere. She's not in the house' Jade panics. 

I jump up from the bed. 'She's gone? How? I rush into the bedroom and she isn't there. Perrie is gone...