I've Found You

Chapter 15

Things continued much in the same fashion for the next few weeks. I spent almost every passing day with Jai and his friends, becoming closer and closer with the lot of them. I’d grown to trust Jai more than I trusted myself; I basically thought of him as my other half, my missing puzzle piece. I was falling deeper and deeper into the hole that I was quite sure went by the name of love. Yes, that’s right, I loved him. My heart practically leapt out of my chest at just the mention of his name, and when I looked into the depth of his eyes, where I thought I could see right into the pit of his beautiful soul, mine sang in return.

Feeling connected, truly and wholly connected to a person was a unique feeling that I didn’t think I’d ever become accustomed to. He held a piece of my heart, a very large, vulnerable piece, and I willingly gave it to him to do with as he pleased. I liked to think that I held a piece of his, too.

Time passed, and before I knew it the summer was drawing to a close. I didn’t want to bring up or even think about my return home, but there it hung, imminent and unavoidable in front of us. We both knew it was coming eventually, it was a fact neither could deny, but facing the pain of my departure was too great a challenge. I wasn’t sure either of us could handle it. Our lives had become one interwoven strand of fate within the time we’d known each other: cut one and the other one suffers too.

It was an early Sunday morning, sometime in the latter weeks of August, when I received the e-mail. I was sorting through my inbox, deleting the junk and replying to the important ones, when the sending address caught my eye. It was from my school. I opened it.

Dear students of Humberview High,

As you all know, the new school year is just around the corner and as such it is time that we all slip back into the mentality of our education. Classes will resume on September the 4th, at 8:00am sharp. Please come prepared with all utensils and binders that you may need. Attached is a copy of your individual schedules. We hope you’ve enjoyed your summer, and we look forward to seeing the new and old faces in the halls of Humber this year.

Regards,

Principal Goodyear

My heart sunk down into the deepest crevices of my chest, and I felt tears of sheer sorrow well up behind my eyes. With blurry vision, I ran up to my bedroom, stopping to grab my favourite red blanket on the way. I wrapped myself in its familiar warmth and threw myself onto the bed, allowing the sobs to consume my body.

How could I bear to leave him? The one who had stepped out of seemingly nowhere and changed the course of my life, the one who understood me like I hadn’t even known was possible, the one I was quite sure I’d fallen in love with. He was being pulled out of my grasp so suddenly I didn’t even have a chance to process the loss. I couldn’t leave him behind, but I had to. Life back home still existed, much to my dismay, and I had to return to it, as much as it absolutely tore my heart into pieces to do so.

I pulled myself off of the bed and walked over to the closet. With shaking, numb fingers, I opened up the front zipper of my luggage, which hadn’t seen any use since my arrival, and pulled out the stuffed bunny I’d packed last minute before I’d left for Australia. I stared into her faded eyes and stroked the furless patches on her back. Holding her close to my chest, I returned to my bed and pulled my knees up against my torso. The sadness, although I still felt it, had turned into exhaustion, and so I fell into a deep slumber.

It was late afternoon when he found me. I had given him a key to my apartment a few weeks ago so he could come and go as he pleased. Jai pulled me into his lap and cradled me in the safety of his arms while he rocked me back and forth and wiped away the tears I hadn’t realized I’d shed in my sleep. I allowed him to comfort me for a moment, before I remembered the tragedy that loomed before us and pulled away. I had to tell him. Surely he knew it was coming, but the part that worried me was how he would take it.

Drawing in a breath of courage, I managed to speak.

“I have to go, Jai,” I whispered. I’d meant to use a strong and clear voice, but what with my heart being stuck in the apex of my throat I just don’t think that was possible.

“What do you mean, Val? Go where? I’ll come with you,” he regarded me with clouded and confused eyes, but I knew him well enough that I could see the pain hidden in their depths.

“Home, Jai. School is starting in a week. I have to go back.” My voice hitched on the last word and I felt a single, solitary tear roll down my right cheek.

He didn’t respond. He just stared at me, his mouth hinged open slightly. He looked as if someone had just punched him in the gut, which was strange because that was exactly how I’d felt at that exact moment. He continued to stare, his face a blank, emotionless slate.

“Jai, say something, please!” I begged of him, reaching out to take his hand.

But he pulled it from my grasp at the last second, turning his head and obscuring it from my vision, but not before I got a glimpse of the water that welled up in his eye sockets and poured out over his face. Without a word, he stood up and marched briskly to the door. I listened to his footsteps, one by one, as he walked down the stairs and out of the apartment. The sound of the door slamming behind him broke my composure, and I found myself consumed, again, by an onslaught of heart wrenching tears and an emotionally exhausted sleep. I have no idea which one came first.