Unlovable.- ethan hunt

five (scarlett)

Pain. The IMF's source of weakness. They hide everything and bury anyone that comes with it. The IMF is not trying to save us. The IMF is trying to protect themselves. We are taught to step away from pain because it weakens our ability to function, but we are taught to step away from our feelings because they don't want us to discover the truth. The very core of human ability is washed away, and all that is left is a system. A system of violence and cruelty, to which humans cannot function. But we are not humans, we are something far worse. We are unlovable

~~~

     MY MOTHER rests on the carpet, her skin is starting to turn pale and will eventually turn blue. Her eyes are still opened, they pierce into my skull. They are not the eyes I remember. I kneel next to her, blood piles on my hands and my clothes. Ethan keeps his distance, I'm not sure if he's afraid of me or concerned for me. I hold my mother's hand, feeling her sharp defined knuckles. I remember holding them when I was a child, but now I can tell they have been broken before. Her body lies stiffly on the carpet, and I softly touch her face rolling her eyelids down. I can't stand to see her like this, after so long. I smell lavender on her neck, the same lavender she sprayed from a clear geometric bottle onto her neck and wrists. I pull back her dark brown hair, and I wipe the blood off of her warm skin. I pull the bracelet from off of her wrist and place it on mine. I do this out of habit, but I secretly want to feel her warm touch again. My mother was not wearing her name when she died. She was wearing my father's. When I was little my father gave it to her, it was an inside joke I didn't quite understand, his name backwards. After all these years I think that it was for our own safety. A decoy, his name backwards. Or was it his secret name? 
     "Scarlett?" Ethan questions, I turn to look at him. His face is soft and questions his actions.
     I am not sure if I should be angry with him, but I don't know if I should be civilized. Before I can do anything I charge at Ethan with nothing but my fists. His hands tightly grasp my wrists, and tears fall down my eyes.
     "You killed my mother."
     Ethan tries to calm me down but I release my hand from his grasp and punch him. I kick his feet from underneath him, and he stumbles. I rip the mic from my dress, and before Ethan can say anything I quickly climb out the window and jump. I don't break any important features, I've been trained to do this. I reach the ground and start running, I'm sure the rest of them will find me but I need to run. I sprint on the sidewalk or at least try to. Although I didn't break anything from the fall, the impact still contacted my ankles and body. I cannot see clearly. Tears block my vision, and I decide to fall. I have lost something that can't be replaced. I've always thought my mother was dead, and seeing my mother die in front of me was worse. Why did she leave me alone for so long? I feel the cold stone beneath my feet. I'm sure nearby citizens can see the blood on me, but they walk past me like everyone else. I don't look up although I can feel the sun burning on my neck and back. All I feel is something poking. Something heavy poking in my head. I can sense the person behind the trigger does not want to kill me. For if they did, the gun would stab me in the neck, and I would be able to sense their finger on the trigger. I turn around slowly and see Ethan with a gun. His finger is not on the trigger. 
     "Please don't make me do this," he begs.
     "You killed my mother!" I shout crying. 
     Ethan begs for me to stay still. I quickly try to get up and run but before I know it I hit the ground hard on my face. There's a piercing feeling in my leg, and I drift away from the world.