Jen and Rock were talking, their usual smiles gracing their beautiful faces. A smile on them looked better than a hundred Galleons of makeup looked on a pair of models. He watched them as they took seats in front of his class. They did look slightly -very slightly- familiar. Snape scowled, shifting uncomfortably in the shadows behind his desk. The girls kept smiling flirtatious, almost dangerous, smiles. The blonde often winked which he found unsettling. What did they want?
Rock had that gleam in her eyes that made all of God's creation run for cover. Except Jen, for she was used to it and knew better than to fear her friend. "So, I heard that there's this really hot Potions teacher," Jen drawled loud enough for him to hear. "I had a dream about him last night, you know. And it was intense." Rock smirked, knowing exactly where her friend was going with this.
"Oh, really? I had the same dream. Was there melted chocolate in yours?"
"You know it," Jen winked. "Never thought chocolate and Snape would go so well together, did you? But now I can't imagine the two of them separate." Rock snorted, shaking her head in bemusement. Her friend had changed a lot over the past year. For the better. She was still shy and quiet, but hanging around her had brought out her... insane side a bit more.
Rock grinned. "I never thought so, either. Then again, I never thought he'd forget about us. Bad, Sexy, forgetting the hottest girls in the school like that," she pouted. Jen laughed, it floated above the noise of the classroom. Snape stepped out of the shadows, striding forward and not bothering to glance at the two young women he had just eavesdropped upon. "Oh, hey, Sexy! How are you doing? Did you sleep well last night?"
"Yes, sir, how's that delectible ass?" Jen teased. His lip curled and he narrowed his eyes. Whoever they were, they were rather disrespectful. At least the brunnette remembered to call him 'sir'. Snape ignored them, walking away.
Then Rock just had to shout, "YOUR ASS KEEPS IGNORING US! HOW RUDE!" He spun around, looking ticked for a minute before deciding anger wouldn't get him anywhere with these two. Professor Snape smirked, leaning casually against the desk. "RUDE SEXY ASS!" That made Jen burst out laughing. He rolled his eyes. They laughed too much for his liking. But why couldn't he remember them?
"Ten points from... Ravenclaw," he said silkily. Instead of a normal student's reaction, they both smirked.
"Professor Sexy, when you deduct points from Ravenclaw, you also take away from Slytherin," Rock mentioned helpfully. "So don't you want to rethink what you just said?" Snape considered what she had said.
Then he amended. "I do, indeed. Ten points to Slytherin." Jen looked confused for a minute before figuring out what he was doing. Her expression flattened.
"That's very witty, Professor," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "Just because you're in love with the Slytherin House doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to award them twice as many points than usual. If you're going to play favorites, look no further than Rock and me. If anyone should be your favorite, it is us."
He smirked coldly. "Why should I punnish my own House, girl? None of the Slytherins have done anything wrong."
Jen pursed her lips, fighting down a smart remark. But needless to say, Rock didn't have nearly the same self-control. "But Sexy, I am in Slytherin. Come now, at least you should recall that much," she smiled without warmth. "Now, do you want to restore those points to Ravenclaw or shall I make you? I don't want to do this, but I can't let Jen suffer the loss of points on a Tuesday." Jennifer snorted, smiling wryly.
"And why would I wish to restore those points?" he inquired, raising his eyebrows. "Just because you pay me a compliment or two doesn't lean me into your favor."
Rock smiled sweetly. "Have it your way, Sexy. Petrificus Totalus!" Before Snape could even take out his own wand, he was frozen. She called over her shoulder to the rest of the class. "Class dismissed. Take the day off. It's on us." The students all cheered, and they all rushed to leave the least-liked class of all. Jen loyally remained behind. She might've been equally insane, but she still had a sense of when things were taken too far. She had to keep her friend in line sometimes. Jen loved Rock like a sister and respected her a lot, and without her around, she'd still be a shy little Ravenclaw. But Rock needed her to keep her head on straight. That's why this friendship worked out so well.
"Well, now, what do we have here?" Jen asked politely. "Professor, did you ruin my afternoon? My goodness, that was rather cold-hearted of you, wasn't it?" He glared at her and then Rock.
Rock jumped up and sat on the desk. "I agree with Jen, Rude Sexy Ass. That wasn't very nice. Now you have to suffer the consequences. Just think of us as karma."
Jen was silent, running through her mind's contents. "You know what... next week, it's my time of the month," she sighed, utterly lying, but Snape didn't have to know that. "Again with the cramps and the mood swings."
"Oh, I know, and the weird cravings?" Rock nodded sympathetically. "There is blood EVERYWHERE!"
She snickered. "Yeah, it's pretty disgusting," she mumbled, crossing her legs. Then she continued brightly, "Which do you use? Tampons or pads?" The look on Snape's face could only be described as one of complete horror. Jen sighed indulgently and waved her wand. "All right, you have use of everything except your arms and legs, Professor. Will you return those points to Ravenclaw now or shall we continue with this discussion?"
"I'll return them!" he hissed. "Just shut up!"
Rock looked outraged. "Jen, we were just getting to the good part! Why do you always stop me when things just get good?" she frowned.
Jen raised an eyebrow. "One, we don't want Snape to lose his mind here and two, when things get good for us, they usually end with a month of detentions." Rock silently agreed, even if she didn't like it particularly.
"All right, but if he doesn't apologize to us, we'll go on as planned. Agreed?" she shot back. Jen nodded once, curtly. "So Sexy, what's it going to be? Apologize or listen about the time the tampon broke and I had to-"
Snape shouted. "I'm sorry, okay? Just. Stop. Talking! Ten points to Ravenclaw!" Rock grinned, waving her wand over the traumatized Potions Master. He stood up, baring his teeth angrily. "All right, who are you two and why are you antagonizing me?" Rock and Jennifer exchanged weary looks, appearing to be worn out.
"I am Rock Lula Riddle and this is my best friend and fellow insane person, Jennifer Dewitt. Any more stupid questions?" Rock growled. "Come on, Jen. Like I said, class is dismissed for the day. Our work here is done." They left the room, grim expressions on their faces. Snape stared in comprehension. He did remember them. How could he have forgotten so easily? Those two were more trouble than Gringotts had gold.
Good Lord, what had he gotten himself into?
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Rock and Jen strolled down the hall, which was mostly empty except for one other person. A Gryffindor boy, not much younger than they were, suddenly stood in their path. They really weren't in the mood to have a pleasant chat with the idiot who had been caught in the girls' bathroom the other day.
Jen hissed, "You, boy, move."
The boy merely grinned. "Hey, now. That's no way to greet an old friend." Rock drew her wand again, shoving it into the boy's wind pipe.
"You are no friend of ours, Kirk," she snarled. "Now I suggest you stay out of our way unless you want to have kids when you grow up... if you grow up, I should say." Jen nodded sharply in agreement.
"Issac, don't you have anything better to do?" she spat. "Being an idiot, for example? Which you do well, by the way. You deserve an award, but unfortunately we do not care enough to present it to you. I hope you burn..." She noticed a teacher walking by, her eyebrows raised in shock. "I hope you burn your tongue on the next hot meal you eat," she finished darkly.
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We Kidnapped Severus Snape... What Now? ..Finished..
FanfictionJen and Rock are at it again! A daring, but idiotic, Gryffindor bets them that they can't pull off one of the most complicated tasks ever: Kidnapping Severus Snape. Of course, with bright smiles on their faces, they set off to what was once deemed a...