YES-NO SHORTIES(short for short stories of KATHNIEL)

page 1-UNSPOKEN

The Following:

I was about to leave when somebody called. It's not the kind of call that is sweet, nor the kind that can break eardrums, but a whisper. A whisper in the air, wind blewn to the very core of me. It's hard to comprehend in this kind of situation: where the crowd's in tune with the head bangings of the rock band, children's in rhyme with the circus entertainments, shouting buyers and sellers, screaming old woman to the poor boney dobberman which haven't eaten for a day or two...yet I did. And in the middle of festivity, we stood.

For a while I wonder who needs to talk first. But I doubt it should be me because I don't have anything in mind. 

I could hear my own heave of sighs, as well as his own set of breathings.

Another minute passed, I lost my patience. How I've waited for long like this before, in vain. Do I still deserve another lifetime waiting? I know I needed that kind of treatment long ago after I untimingly broke up with him. But who am I to decide then? Being as young as 17, though not so young eh,  but I haven't thought of commitment then...like a serious one. And he just lost his parents in an accident. And we're just about to graduate. And he, being the eldest in the family automatically get the responsibility to stand both as father and mother to his other six lovely sisters. Oh yeah, and there was me,  was just enjoying the first week in a relationship ever experienced got struck by those facts. How could we have quality time together if he went on becoming a working student,  or an out or school youth now? I know my parents won't agree in me having a boyfriend before graduating in college, moreso to have one who's far more poorer than we were. They wanted me to finish first before doing anything else for my selfish's sake. But like I said, I've already went through the consequences of those actions...why do I deserve more? If you're going to question how,  my answer will be as simple as this: I haven't gotten over him, luckily. And very luckily, I kind of losing my spirits to live now. My family were in clash of clans, successful but unsatisfied. I, myself is dying. No, it's a joke. But I feel I am with the way my life turned out after the unhappy things by a broke up. No one else came my way. I'm afraid to say I was afraid. Indeed I was. I am. Too afraid to commit and lose my grip again, to fall and be fallen apart. Yes, we took separate ways in which he went in the wild city, while I preferred places where men are rare. I just hate to see crowding people around, in any reason they may have to circle around. I just hate the noise they're making. Now, tell me to stop my random narrations.

Ten years...yet a very short time passed for by just merely looking at him in the equal distance times speed,  my barenaked eyes could tell he is as amazing as he was before. But taking it as ten minutes ticktocking in the digital clock of mine, I cannot wait more than it. I turned to leave.

Can you suggest me more logical thing to do than this? Or am I just being the same me as before with nothing else to do but leave and leave without further explanations?

But I just hate it having a girl do the explainings. I'm an old soul who has lived in the most ancient lifetimes as Maria Clara, you know.

And so I must.

Then I hear steps coming,  going, after me. Why escape now? I turned to my right but a hand stopped me by the arm...no, that not happened. I abruptly turned to my left after noticing that the right side I was going to take has a bunch of teenie-weenie teenagers hand-cuffing each victims to get compulsary money. I can't go that way, my pennies are just exact for another box of chocolatte I needed now. But neither the left side could be my escape because another group was there making fools of themselves out of wearing oh-so-funny-duh costumes. So why not face him now? For all I know,  I might not have another chance more.

So I turned again, going back slowly. Did you think I've already taken steps or so? Think again because turning here and there were all the successful movements the guilty me has done.

But before I knew it, he was not there anymore. In just a short several seconds I keep my eye off him, I lost him once again.

Did I just say his call was not sweet or not too loud to break an eardrum? Yes, it did not, but it did break my heart.

Did I just say a joke about me dying? Then it's true.

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