YES-NO SHORTIES(short for short stories of KATHNIEL)

page 1-UNSPOKEN

She's standing there, amidst the whirl-wind of strangers, with no one else to hold her hand, to keep her calm, to assure everything is okay, to appease her fears---a me beside her.

How I remembered the day I was of superb happiness because the girl I love accepted my love. I did not offer her the moon to lighten her nights, or a jewelry of stars to decorate her beauty. We both knew we cannot have everything, because even the most simple things on earth has a price. Instead she made me promise not to leave her inspite of her saying so. She admitted how she fears things that she'd rather stay alone handful of nothing than to stay holding onto everything all at once at the same time dealing into problems. She admitted her social anxiety,  introversion and more anxiety attacks. But those are the reasons she's different above all the others. Because with that I could help her face her fears. It's funny how she's saying she hates me being so proud, egotistic and loud. My over confidence is the only way I can use to be successful in life. I wanted to give a good decent life for my family. And from there, I could build my own family with her---as simple as she wishes it to be: living in the serenity of a mountainside, with a pack of dogs barking everywhere,  she lying on the tree house while making a fresh fruit salad out of harvesting in the field we grow everyday with me watching a son and a daughter walking, running, jumping all around them.

But then things do happen without explaining it beforehand. I was left behind with all the debts our parents left unpaid. And while all my little sisters there crying out of their lungs for the lost of them, I came nowhere to be found. I cannot just sit and wait for the donations and alms of those who paid a time seeing the last of our parents. We cannot live through that. So I worked. Stitches and burns,  I managed to play along the naughty life. I've had enough money now to let a lifetime of ours free of stress the earth may give.

But had I had experiences now to feel free of pain the people around me could cause?

Because here I am, reliving the pain again of leaving her.

Yes, she said she don't want to see me again.

Yes, she was the one who broke it up.

But I knew for sure, she don't mean any single word of good byes.

Her eyes told me so. The sparkling liquid pearls says it all. And the tremble in her voice.

Just like how her body shivers in cold when I say her name...then she showed how she wanted to ignore me.

Having nowhere to go, she turned to me again.

But that's the time I opted to go.

I've already broke a promise once to that girl I loved for ten years...

...and I don't want to live a hell out of conjuring it by saying "I still love you."

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