Cal Pal

Letter 5

Dear Lucas,

        Ashton and Michael tried to get me to say what you did out loud. Ha. Like it would help me accept the fact that you left. No. Saying it out loud will only break me further. You left me, and that's what I've accepted. I haven't really thought of you much. I've thought of the empty spaces around me where you should be. I haven't thought about where you are right now, or what's happened to you. Only that you are gone, and I miss you terribly. God, Luke. Did you really have to leave? If only you'd said something. We could have fixed this. You were my light, Luke. Now my light is gone, and I'm having trouble finding my way through the dark. I need my light back, Luke, or I might stay in the dark forever. This is not what I had planned. We were supposed to be together forever. I miss you. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I can't stop saying it. I miss you. With you gone... There's nothing in this hell hole that can fill this gapping crater in my chest. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget all the stupid little things.

I need you,

        Cal Pal xx