Missing You Makes Me Angry

We Left Each Other, But Baby Why?

Final Part

Sorry for the delay, but depression is a bitch. Please enjoy.

Buck woke up happy, but it only lasted a few seconds until he opened his eyes. The warmth and excitement he had for the day drained out of him when he saw the empty space beside him in bed. He reached out, running his hand over the sheets where he was sure that Eddie had fallen asleep with him— they were cold.

He sat up straight, looking out into the kitchen, searching for Eddie —praying he was just making breakfast or working out or just there— somewhere. But the apartment was dark and silent.

He collapsed back into the bed and closed his eyes, breathing deeply, trying to control the tears welling in his eyes.

He knew it wasn't a dream. He could smell Eddie's cologne on his pillow and his ass ached in all the good ways, but even more so because he was sure that if he looked in a mirror that his skin would be covered in bruising hickeys from his neck to his thighs.

Part of him couldn't help but wish that it had all just been a dream. A sweet dream where the man he loved might actually want him. Even though he knew that Eddie might be using him as a way to work through his anger, waking up alone made his heart hurt. He had never truly woken up the morning after sex hoping that he would get to see the person— see them smile at him, and wanting to stare at their ruppled hair and sleep mussed face; wanting to kiss them sweetly with no need for more sex. Never had he wanted more than to just be there with them— not even with Abby when he thought he loved her.

He wrapped himself up in the blankets and just let the tears fall, grateful that he didn't have to start work for a few days and hoped that when he woke again there would be a text or call from Eddie.

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After two days of wallowing in his bed, Buck had to get up. He had no choice. He needed to shower off the several day old stench of sex and Eddie and go to work for the first time in nearly a year.

But even though he should be ecstatic about being back at the 118, he was anxious. Eddie hadn't messaged him, so he figured that he definitely regretted it, and now Buck was going to have to see him nearly every day. There would be no avoiding him and Buck was afraid to see how Eddie would act— afraid that Eddie would ignore him or be angry again.

Buck leaned against the wall in the shower trying to decide how to handle the situation. But the only thing he could think of was to treat it like any other one night stand and just not make a big deal out of it and try to move on.

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He walked into the station nervously, bag hiked over his shoulder, but after a few people welcomed him back kindly he was grateful to see that the other firefighters weren't holding the lawsuit against him.

He gaped at the banner hanging over the loft, definitely not expecting a warm welcome like Chim had gotten in the past, but there it was— a welcome back banner with Buckley: 3 Disaster: 0 written underneath.

Chimney and Hen were the first to greet him with a giant hug. "Buckaroooo!"

He allowed them to drag him upstairs, where he was even more surprised to see Cap cooking breakfast, well that wasn't exactly surprising, but it was surprising that he was apparently invited.

"Have some breakfast, Buck." Bobby said, with a small smile. "Then scrub down the engines." He ordered, before turning back to the stove.

Buck couldn't help but smile softly down at his plate. "Okay, Captain."