School is absolute hell. I want to leave by second period. Have you ever wanted something so bad, yet you know you're probably not going to get there any time soon? Thats how I feel all the time. I want skinny. I need skinny.
They say anorexia is just a slow form of suicide. Even if it is, I'm still doing what ever it takes to not be fat anymore.
As I'm walking with my friends, I hear a familiar voice call my name.
"Hey, Brynn." the voice says sarcastically.
"What do you want, James?" I reply.
"Aw babe, no need to be salty. I just want to talk to you. "
"And why would I want to talk to you?"
"Ugh, never mind. I don't want to risk being seen talking to a fat bitch anyway."
That word. That fucking word. The real F-word.
"I stormed out. I ran as far away from that asshole as I possibly could. I didn't even know where I was going. I just knew that I had to get away from him.
I found myself in the girls bathroom. I went into the stall all the way at the end of the bathroom and prepared to do what I had to do. I put my middle and index fingers down my throat and pushed forward, causing me to throw up whatever I'd had in my body. It was yesterday's lunch, toast and a RedBull.
Later in the day I found out that one of my closest friends, Alice got detention for telling James off and he got away without any punishment. What an amazing school system.
Maybe the starvation started in grade six but getting the results I truly want will take more than all of middle school and the ninth grade. I continue to create and break promises to myself, the ones that will make me thin. Maybe that's why I'm so fucking fat. I tell myself to remember that zero commitment equals zero results and that it takes hard work and effort to be thin.
The moment I get home I change into a black tank top and workout leggings. To be thin you need to work out too, so I go for runs every day after school. To keep myself from passing out, I like to drink a zero calorie energy drink before my run. After I've finished my drink I head out of my house earbuds and all.
Typically when I run, I zone out a little and I start to think more and more about different things. About halfway through my run, I bump into a medium height blond boy with the most beautiful blue eyes anyone could imagine.
YOU ARE READING
Dying for thin
Teen FictionWho said you have to be skinny to be anorexic? Ana is not glamorous. She takes over you whole life. She corrupts your mind and takes over anything you'd thought was normal. Starving is your new normal. "We're going out to eat. Wanna come?" "No. I've...
