Dying for thin

Escape

*trigger warning*
I pulled out a small green box from underneath my bed. The box had a lock on it and I wore the key around my neck. I unlocked the box to reveal its contents, several razor blades from shaving razors and pencil sharpeners. Yes, I was going to cut and yes, I may be fat. But I'm not stupid. Instead of cutting my wrist, I went for my hips. I cut and cut all of the skin on my right hip. The razors opened white wounds that didn't bleed immediately but when they did bleed, it lasted for about an hour. I jumped straight in the shower after that. The slits stung like a bitch under the water, but I failed to care.

I got out of the shower and got ready for school. I wore black skinny jeans, a plain red top and red converse high tops. I put my hair in a top knot. I didn't really care much how I looked.

When I was all ready, I waited outside for the bus. At the stop, I saw my best friend, Bellalynn. Bella and I had been best friends for about a year now. Not long but we had a good relationship. She's super thin, medium height and has red hair. I would give anything to look like her.

"Hey, Brynn!" Bellalynn yelled.
"Hi, Bells." I answered.

She knew about my anorexia and cutting but she had no idea how bad I'd cut.

"Babe, I've done something stupid." I say, wondering if I'd regretted telling her anything or not.
"OMG! What? Are you okay?" She asked, obviously worried.
"I think I'm okay but, I cut again. This time it was really bad. I lost a lot of blood."
"Brynn, I can only do so much to help you. You need to stop. It's for your own good."
"I know but, it's an addiction and I have to release the pain somehow."
"I understand but you have to realize that there are other ways to let it out."
"Okay, okay. You're right."

The bus had just pulled up. I hesitated to get on. I dreaded what was going to happen at school.

"Just go, Brynn. You'll be fine. I'm right here." Bellalynn reassured. I knew I'd be good if I had her along side.