At The Edge Of Oblivion

8:35, September 10th, 2014

"Shawn?" Allison's weak voice called out. I scrambled over to the base of our tree where she was laying. She was ghastly pale. I knelt down next to her and her head rolled over onto my lap. Her arm reached up and rested on my shoulder. She looked up at me with a smile. Tears streamed down her face. I could see the pain in her eyes. There was a flicker of relief when they made contact with mine. I cradled her head in my hands and just looked at her. She kept repeating how sorry she was. I was frozen. I could see how large the pool of blood gathered around her was. I knew that no matter what I did...she would be gone before help ever arrived. I did what I could to stop the bleeding. It was too late. I forced a smile on my face and tried to reassure her that she was okay. That she would be fine. She told me that she loved me. My heart broke. The light of the moon shown right onto her face. I could see everything she was thinking, and how hard she was struggling to breathe. A puzzled look crossed her face. Her eyes frantically looked around before settling on me again. She raised her hand from my shoulder to my cheek. The way she looked at me at that moment. There is no describing it.
"Hey... stranger," she spoke with the purest and most innocent voice I had ever heard. She tried for one last smile, but the muscles in her face went limp. I watched as the life faded from her eyes. Her hand fell from my cheek. Her chest went still. She died there in my arms. I think a piece of me died too. I didn't move for a long time. I honestly don't know how long. When I did move I laid her head down on the soft grass. I planted one last kiss on her forehead then stood up, not really knowing where I would go. I looked up with tears in my eyes, filled my lungs, and with every ounce of strength I had left I let out the deepest and most primal cry that has ever escaped my lungs. Birds all around exploded out of the trees and flew off until the darkness swallowed them whole. When the last echo had left me I took a step forward and collapsed. When I hit the ground I was back with Allison the night before. Her head on my chest and we were laughing and looking at the sky. Memory is a funny thing. I don't know my own phone number. I don't really remember what I had for breakfast that morning. I don't remember what I was wearing at school. I don't remember my first bike, or my first movie. I remember every second of that night. Almost like it was burned into my brain. At some point I stopped crying and made my way to my feet. When I made my way home I made an anonymous tip that I thought I had seen someone walking around in the woods. She was found the next morning. It didn't take them long to figure out what had happened. I lingered in the shower. It covered up the sound of my pained cries. My hands had been caked in blood. It wouldn't come off. I swear I could see it for days. I threw away my clothes. I didn't sleep that night. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her. I couldn't be in my room. I couldn't be in the house at all. I sat on my porch motionless until the sun came up.
At some point I just started walking. I sat down in my first hour class an empty vessel. They didn't know yet. It was on the local news that morning but they never released a name. I think I was in shock. I mean how was I supposed to act after... How was I supposed to act? By lunch everyone was talking about it. They never said suicide, just that she had died. Caden was using it to boost his popularity. Saying he was the last one to be with her before she passed. Everyone was gathered around him as he talked about their deep connection. Claire, one of Allison's friends pulled me aside. She saw me glaring in Cadens direction and said there was something I should know. She explained how she was at the party with Allison that night. Her and some others. They had seen what happened, and it wasn't at all what Caden was spewing. Since then a few others have come forward with similar accounts of Claire's story as well as stories of their own centered around Caden. Claire said that she had seen Caden hitting on Allison, but she was rejecting his advances. She said that Allison had been planning on leaving to come see me. Caden offered her a drink before she left, he said it wasn't alcohol. Allison hated drinking. Her mother however, had loved it— which I can only assume has something to do with the fact that she isn't in the picture. Allison had probably figured that she'd at least stick around for a little while longer. Claire said a few minutes Allison had started feeling woozy and went upstairs because she felt odd and needed to get away from everyone. Caden followed her soon after. A few minutes later he returned looking disheveled and with a massive grin on his face. Claire went up to check on Allison and found her sobbing on the floor. With every sentence that came out of Claire's mouth my heart broke all the more. I looked across the room and found Caden's eyes. With a stone cold face I mouthed the words "I know." A look of enjoyment consumed his face. I made up my mind then that I was going to kill him.