Time To Go Back

You're Safe With Me | Bellamy

By the time Clarke and I reached the edge of the forest, her cheeks were stained with tears.

I reached over and wiped some off her right cheek, catching her off guard. She jumped a little before calming down, leaning slightly onto my hand.

"You wanna talk about it?" I asked, not wanting to push Clarke too far. She shook her head while turning towards a tree. She sat down and patted on the ground for me to do the same.

I sat down, grunting a little while doing so. Clarke sat her head on my shoulder. "Do you think we'll ever get a happy ending?" Clarke asked me, staring off into the field ahead.

I thought about it for a moment. If I'm being honest, I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't. But I wasn't gonna tell Clarke that.

"Of course. We have to. We deserve to."
At some point my head managed to fall onto Clarke's.

She began to slowly and silently sob, probably hoping I wouldn't notice. I lifted my head and moved so that I was sitting in front of her.

Her head had fallen to her chest and she sounded like she couldn't breathe. "Clarke?!"
Clarke put her elbows on her knees and her head between her elbows.

This is definitely a panic attack. I came to the conclusion based on the few attacks Octavia had had in the past. "Hey, Clarke! Just breathe with me. 1. 2. 3."

Slowly her breathing began to even out. She was still crying though and the surge hurt my heart.

"C'mon, Clarke. Talk to me. What's on your mind?"

"It's nothing," she lazily responded, sifting her head back on the tree.

"It's obviously not 'nothing'"

"It's just-" she cut off as if trying to collect her thoughts. "Everyone I've loved has died or almost died because of me. It's just not fair what I do to them."

"Clarke."

"I take and I take and I never give until one day it all falls apart and— Bellamy I just can't keep hurting people."

I honestly didn't know what to say. I mean it's obviously not true, we just live in dark times. None of this is her fault.

"Clarke, you can't put this all on you. It's not your fault. We've been handed the worst possible cards. We don't have control over things like that."

She looked up at me still crying and part of me knew she didn't believe me but she nodded her head and I decided to let it go.

Now. To wait for Gabriel and his plan with a million holes.