Aladdin Script (by JFour Menda) 2020

SCENE 11

SCENE 11

Abu: Oh. Aladdin. Wake up. Aladdin.

Aladdin: Oh! My head. We're trapped. That two-faced son of a jackal! [snarling] Whoever he was, he's long gone with that lamp.

Abu: Aha!

Aladdin: [chuckling] Why, you hairy little thief. Looks like such a beat-up, worthless piece of junk. Hey, I think there's something written here, but it's hard to make out.

Genie: Aaaaahhhhh! Oy! 10,000 years will give you such a crick in the neck. Hang on a second. Whoa! Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there. Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi. Where you from? What's your name?

Aladdin: Uh... Uh, Aladdin.

Genie: Aladdin. Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you "Al"? Or maybe just "Din." How about "Laddie"? Sounds like, "Here, boy. C'mon, Laddie."

Aladdin: I must have hit my head harder than I thought.

Genie: Do you smoke? Mind if I do? [giggling] Oh, sorry, Cheetah. Hope I didn't singe the fur. Yo, Rugman. Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tass-el. Yeah. Yo, yo. Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that or I'm gettin' bigger. Look from the side. Do I look different to you?

Aladdin: Wait a minute. I'm your master?

Genie: That's right. He can be taught. What would you wish for me? The ever impressive, the long contained, often imitated, but never duplicated... [echoing] Duplicated, duplicated... Genie... of the Lamp! Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your very much wish fulfillment. Thank you.

Aladdin: Whoa. Wish fulfillment?

Genie: Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes. That's it. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.

Aladdin: Now I know I'm dreaming.

Genie: Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate whilst I illuminate the possibilities. ♪ When Ali Baba had them 40 thieves, Scheherezad-ie had a thousand tales. But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves, you got a brand of magic never fails. You got some power in your corner now, some heavy ammunition in your camp, you got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how, see all you gotta do is rub that lamp, and I'll say. Mister Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be? Let me take your your order, jot it down, you ain't never had a friend like me. Life is your restaurant, and I'm your matie 'd'! Come on, whisper what it is you want, you ain't never had a friend like me. Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service, you're the boss, the king, the shah. Say what you wish, it's yours! True dish, how about a little more baklava? Have some of column A, try all of column B. I'm in the mood to help you dude, you ain't never had a friend like me. Oh, my. No, no. ♪ [scatting] ♪ Can your friends do this? Do your friends do that? Do your friends pull this out their little hat? Can your friends go, poof? Well, looky here, can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip! And then make the sucker disappear? So doncha sit there slack, jawed, buggy eyed. I'm here to answer all your midday prayers, you got me bona fide, certified, you got a genie for your chare d'affaires. I got a powerful urge to help you out, so what you wish? I really wanna know. You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt, well, all you gotta do is rub like so, and oh. Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three. I'm on the job, you big nabob. You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend. You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend. You ain't never had a friend like me! ♪ Ah ha ha! Wah ha ha! [Abu's greedy laugh] ♪ You ain't never had a friend like me. ♪

[buzzing]

[Carpet applause]

Abu: [chattering] Huh? [groans]

Genie: So, what'll be, Master?

Aladdin: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right?

Genie: Ah, almost. There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos.

Aladdin: Like?

Genie: Ah, rule number one: I can't kill anybody. So don't ask. Rule number two! I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else. Mwah! You little punim there. Rule number three! I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!! Other than that, you got it.

Aladdin: Hmm.

Abu: Oh!

Aladdin: Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Some all-powerful genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way out.

Genie: Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walking out on me? I don't think so, not right now. You're gettin' your wishes, so sit down!

[Abu screeches]

Genie: In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, anywhere. Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet. We're... outta here!