I just have a lot on my chest that I need to get out, I know no one is going to read this so I'm doing it here.
I hate crying in public or around anyone. I'll wait till I can get to a bathroom or in my room. When I do cry around my family I sometimes don't even know why. My mom just keeps pestering to get me to tell her what's wrong, but how do you do that if you don't want to hurt her feelings. She keeps saying that I won't hurt her feelings but sometimes you just need to cry. I would love to have someone who I could be comfortable with crying around and wouldn't ask me what's wrong. I just need a shoulder to cry on, someone who will be there for me when I feel like no one else is.
I go to church but I don't enjoy it, they believe that being gay/ lesbien/ Bi or anything else that includes the LGBTQ + community is just a trial you have to overcome. I can't tell my friends or long time best friends that I don't know my sexuality because all of them go to that church. My family is divorced and I enjoy going to my dad's church more than my mom's cause they don't shove in your face that you have to be straight in order to follow God's plan.
I was talking to my dad one day and we somehow got onto the topic of my guy friend's crush, he had asked what my friend wanted to do with her. He made up all the ways my friend could respond to the question and I'm over here thinking aren't you just supposed to be there for each other when no one else is.
I honestly feel like I've just removed a huge burden by writing all this.
