Smile and put on a happy face

The joke's on you!

- Please welcome Joker!!

The classic tune of the show beats and the colored curtains open, forming the path that finally leads me to the great stage. Time to shine! Did I mention I´m a dancer? I couldn´t do it another way, I go out on the stage dancing. I smile, flick away my last cigarette and spin around three times until I reach Murray. The audience claps enthusiastically. I shake Murray´s hand and walk towards the other two guests. This is my last chance to kiss a woman and if Doctor Sally is all there is, then so be it. I approach her and she reaches her hand out to me but I take her face in both my hands and give her one of those kisses you see only in the magazines. The crowd claps and whistles. 

- Are you alright, Doctor?- Murray asks - That was quite an entrance!!!- 

I take a seat next to Murray and cross my legs. 

I look around. Wow!! This is amazing!! It´s like a dream. The lights, the people, the bright colors, the noise of the crowd…so many heads, soy many eyes. People laugh. I don´t know why because I haven´t told a joke yet. 

- Are you OK?- Murray asks.

- Yeah…this is exactly how I imagined it. 

- Well, that makes one of us!

Everyone laughs and claps. Did I say something funny? I don´t know. But wow, does it feel good to be applauded. I smile. I could have spent all my life like this. If only I had been born under a different star…

- So, can you tell us about this look? When we spoke earlier you mentioned that this look is not a political statement. Is that right?

- That´s right, Murray. I´m not political. I´m just trying to make people laugh.

- And how has that gone for you??

People laugh. 

- Hahahahahaha - I fake laughing as well.

- So, I know you´re a comedian. You´ve been working on any new material? You wanna tell us a joke?

Applause. Is that all for me? This is truly magnificent.

- Yeah? Haha. OK.

I look at Murray while I slightly lift myself from the seat to take the notebook from my pocket. 

- He´s got a book! A book of jokes.- says Murray and moves closer , trying to catch a glimpse of the content but I cover the notebook up, shielding its secrets.

I open a random page and turn a few as if I was looking for something although I know I´m looking for nothing. The only joke I´m going to tell tonight is in my pocket and not in the notebook. But then a lonely sentence captures my attention. 

“I just hope my death makes more cents than my life.”

Between all that mess of images and scrawl that one sentence stands out, as if it was yelling at me. My eyes get fixed on the letters. How can a bit of ink contain so much? Suddenly it´s as if the entire room had gone mute, petrified. People seem like lifeless puppets, sitting there staring at me with eyes of glass that don´t see. Somewhere I heard someone say that time is like a river. It flows at different speeds in different places. I believe I understand now what they meant, for it seems that time has come to a halt for everyone, except for me.   

Just as I rehearsed it so many times, my left hand reaches down to my leg and ever so carefully my thumb slides into my pocket, finding the cold body of the gun. My skin touches hers and caresses it for a second. The time has come!! 

And then my hand collides with something else. A soft and silky fabric that contrasts with the hard metal next to it. It´s the blue handkerchief I put in my pocket when I was getting dressed…