See you in Hell || Jinkook

13. e

Today marks two whole months that I've been here. My time is near. I won't make it much longer than this. My body shivers with every breath I take and my once wounded wing barely has any feathers left. It's practically rotting on my back. I'm like a withering flower just waiting for the day I take my last breath. Any plans of escaping are long forgotten. I'd never be able to fly up to the portal with these useless wings anyway. I doubt I'd even remember how to do it. I'm stuck sitting here in the window all day, barely even having the energy to eat when V silently brings me food. He hasn't spoken a word to me since the incident with Yoongi.

Jungkook left the castle a little over a week ago to do something in the city. I don't know what it is and I frankly don't care, all I know is that I've been deteriorating faster ever since he disappeared. He's been changing. Every day he treats me more and more like an equal and it's ruining the both of us. I've overheard servants in the hallways talking about how more riots are taking place because they think the king has gotten weaker. He definitely has. I can see it in his eyes and his entire way of being. He's not the frightening demon that once greeted me at the foot of the stairs to the castle. 

I'm weak too. Not just physically but mentally as well. If I'd had the strength to kill him a couple weeks ago then perhaps my body had been in good enough shape to take me back to Heaven. Now it's all too late. That knowledge makes me die faster along with Jungkook's absence. It'd be nice if he'd at least make it back before I die. As stupid as it sounds, he's the only one I have. The king of Hell is my only friend and it hurts to admit that because I want nothing more than to hate him. But I can't. I can't bring myself to hate him when he's the only one who's somewhat good to me. I at least want to say goodbye to him. 

~†~

Somehow I fell asleep in the window and I awaken first when someone taps my shoulder. I look around and eventually adjust to the darkness enough to be able to see Jungkook staring at me with his big, round eyes. 

"Oh. You're back," I say in a voice not more than a whisper. 

"Sorry to wake you, but why are you sleeping in the window? The bed is a lot more comfortable, you know."

"I didn't mean to, it just kind of happened."

He just shrugs at my response and makes an attempt to lift me up, probably to carry me to the bed, but I quickly push him away. 

"Don't touch me."

"Why not? If you're sleepy I can just take you over there so you don't have to walk."

I don't know what to tell him and he looks at me with confusion. He hasn't seen me in a week, so he doesn't know what a bad state I'm in right now. I might as well say it out loud.

"I'm dying."

Jungkook just tilts his head at me as if to ask if I'm serious. If possible I feel even worse after admitting it to him. I want to cry, but I don't know if I can produce any tears. In an attempt to convince him, I unfold my withering wing for him to see. The gloomy light coming in from the colored window shows the bony silhouette and Jungkook's mouth falls open in shock. He immediately turns me around a bit to get a better look and I realize I kind of missed having his harsh hands on me. 

"What happened?" he asks. "How could it get this bad? Did it look like this when I left?"

"I already told you, I'm dying. Angels need constant sunlight and love to survive and, needless to say, I haven't had either of those in a long time. It's tearing me down. I don't think I have long left to live."

He takes a step back and he's completely at a loss for what to say. He just blinks at me and it makes me feel guilty. I shouldn't feel guilty for dying, especially when it's technically his fault, but I can't help it. He looks so helpless. Will he be able to move on when I'm gone? Will he go back to his old ways? Will he ever be reborn as a human in that case?