Do not cross the line

Chapter 29

Sam listened to how you told him what happened between you and Harry. He now realized Harry was there for you when nobody else was.

How on earth you had no-one? You were a smart, intelligent and amazing person. Everyone in the office loved you.

And he realized that he was even more asshole than he first thought he was. Everything he had done had made you feel much worse, his childish revenge had hurt you more than he could have ever imagined.

And Harry had played his game for him to make him make his move with you faster. He had seen it from Sam that he cared about you a lot, trying to help him to realize it himself.

But he fucked it all.

Sam brushed his fingers through his brown hair, looking how you were still down on the floor, your face hiding behind your hands, your body still shaking within your sobs.

He stepped closer, kneeling in front of you, taking your hands but you pulled them roughly away.

"Don't fucking touch me!" - you crawled backward away from Sam, who tried to take your hand again.

"I told you not to touch me!" - you finally got up back to your feet, when they were shaking badly and you needed to take support from the wall so you wouldn't fall back.

Sam got up too, seeing from your face how tears were still pouring, but your eyes were full of rage.

"Please Y/N, let me hold you, let me comfort you." - he tried to step closer again but you backed down.

"I don't want you to hold me!" - you screamed, searching for something to take in your hand from with you could hit him if he comes closer.

"Y/N, please, I'm here for you. I care about you." - Sam tried to stay calm, to keep his voice soft to make you calm down.

You looked at him while the flames flew from your eyes toward him because of the rage.

"Go fuck that fucking waitress!"

Sam froze. He watched how your whole body was shaking, how your lower lip was trembling and your chest raised heavily when you breathing got more and more unstable.

You had some book on the table next to you, so you grabbed it and threw it toward Sam, which hit on his chest before it fell to the floor with a loud thump.

"Go fuck that fucking waitress!!" - you screamed again, louder this time, your voice cracking as your eyes were shut before you felt strong arms wrapping around you, pushing you against the wide chest.

Still, your eyes closed, you started to hit the body front of you with your fists, trying to wiggle away from the embrace, as you kept screaming and crying;

"Don't touch me! Go fuck that waitress! Go fuck that fucking waitress!"

Sam took every hit you slammed against his chest, he deserved every single one of them. He deserved everything. But he had no intentions to let go. He was there, he wanted to hold you, support you, be there for you.

Even you didn't want him to.

But he would not give up.

He would not let go.

You kept screaming and hitting him, your body getting weaker and weaker after each hit you made, your mind starting to getting tired to fight.

But you didn't want to give up.

He didn't deserve it.

He didn't deserve your forgiveness, he didn't deserve your tears.

But most of them all, you hated yourself for letting you be this weak.

You hated that you had let him get access to your heart, that you let him mess your head and making you show someone this side of you.

Harry had seen it, and now Sam.

Nobody has seen you this weak ever. Nobody hasn't seen you cry for yourself, you cried because of Evelyn and Eric with them, but you haven't cried because of you for years.

Now you were fighting against yourself, in the arms of a man who you had fallen in love with such a short time - and who had hurt you.

You needed to get him out of your apartment. You needed him to leave you alone.

Sam kept holding you in his embrace, feeling how slowly your hits got weaker and weaker, until they stopped, your legs giving up and he hold you tighter to keep you on your feet.

Your heartbreaking cry got muffled against his chest when you hid your face in it, when you finally gave up and let him to hold you, and you let yourself cry against his chest.

Sam put his hand on your hair, starting to smooth your hair softly as he started slowly to rock you in his arms to the side to side, while your hands grabbed his shirt, your tears making it wet.

He closed his eyes when he heard how you cried, how your body was still shaking and your breathing was unstable when you were in the verge of a panic attack.

He started to hum quietly a calm melody in your ear when he leaned his cheek on your head, still rocking you gently in his arms.

You were tired. You couldn't fight anymore. All the denied feelings you had been keeping inside you as long as you could remember, got now out with the rage toward Sam. The gates got open a little with Harry but now you had finally let them all out.

Even you had let yourself to fall to your boss, let yourself to fuck him, and letting him to hurt you, you still wanted him to hold you the way he was holding you now.

Even you knew that the relationship between you two was a huge risk, you could ruin your career, the only thing what mattered in your life, you couldn't help it when you were now too weak to let yourself to suffer alone when you could let him to be there for you.

For a long time, you two stood there, Sam humming and rocking you until you calmed down, your hysterical cry finally fading to quiet sobs and whimpers and your shaking body relaxing in his arms.

Sam knew this will not end here. He needed to make this up to you, he needed to show you that he truly was sorry, that he was the biggest asshole in the world, and that he truly cared about you.

He carefully pulled away, looking down at you, as you kept still your head hiding against his chest.

"Look at me." - with a low and soft voice he asked, but you shook your head.

"Please look at me." - he asked again, getting the same response.

He swallowed before he leaned his forehead against the top of your head.

"Please... Look at me." - he whispered again, and this time he felt how you moved your head so he pulled away, looking how you slowly lifted your head up, looking at him with red eyes.

Softly he dragged your hair away from your face, behind your ear, after that he cupped your cheek, looking deep into your eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm here if you let me be." - he whispered, rubbing your cheek with his thumb.

He watched how your eyes roamed his, your eyes moving when you looked his eyes in turns, as he felt how he stopped breathing when he waited for your answer.

Weak and shaky breath left your lips when they finally parted, letting the words slip through them.

"Leave me alone."