the darkness within

chapter 4

I hate when people won't let me help around here, it gets on my damn nerves. I wish Azza we're here to help me with this stuff. I can do some of it, but not all of it by myself; it's hard. I do have three friends that can help me, and their names are Chase, Luna, and Michael. They are the best friends a girl could ever ask for. Hopefully, they can help me out; some friends are just that great. Azza (the strong) has finally come, I am so happy. The real chief of the demon world military will be here, and his name is Nergal, and he's the best of the best we have. He has worked for my father and they both have worked with each other for a long time. My dad was thankful when he was around when he couldn't be around that much for me.

My dad never knew how proud I was of him since he had become king. I can't take this responsibility of being a ruler like he did. He made it look so easy when he was king. Sometimes I think I should give this up to someone else, but Azza told me not to do this. I don't want to, but with how many people are treating me and all, some people don't get why I say that for a reason. I have so many reasons why I shouldn't be queen or anything else. I wish I could trust more people in the end, because I'm starting to have my doubts about people. I've always doubted people, I don't know why though. I've never doubted my friends or family. But the government is the main reason why I doubt things the most.

They are about the only ones that can keep me from going insane. But the one thing is that I'm afraid of is that I might end up like my older sister as a rogue demon. I was about to be a rogue demon once before, but my friends helped me out with that. With help from them I can do anything that I can't do alone. I have such amazing friends that I can go to when I need help. "You're late, I've been here for an hour." I'm so sorry I got caught up with work at the castle. "Still you could have come here anyway." I was going to leave but they kept calling my name from left to right and every few seconds. "Well then what are we going to do with the plan now." I don't know honestly.

I haven't really thought about it at all I'm sorry. "That's not an excuse right now Lily we need it to be perfect you got that." Yes, I do and for now, I will leave you alone. First off you need to go and cool off before you start doing some harm to people or me, and I'm sorry if I have failed you, I won't do it again. "You better not do it again and if you do you will not be helping or even worse." I better get back to the castle I know for a fact they will be looking for me and oh, by the way, watch your back because you have some traitors in the rebellion so watch out. "What do you mean by that, and why do I have to watch my back." There are some people who are in the castle talking to the others about the rebellion and giving them info about you and some of the others. That sort of stuff is what I'm warning you about to watch you're back for.

The fallen angels don't have the weaponry to go up against the government. What are y'all going to do if you can't find the necessary things to help you out? "For now, we will have to make do with what we have with the materials that we have gathered so far. Oh, and by the way, thanks for the warning about some of the people in the fallen angel's rebellion. Nobody would really care about me as much as you would. You're like a mother to them." Thank you it's what I'm supposed to do you know, look out for other people other than me. That's how my father raised me, and if I didn't do that, he would have punished me very badly, and wouldn't go easy on my brother or me. But thank you for saying that. Nobody has ever said that to me and meant it. "Your welcome and plus you are my one and only girl and be happy that you are. I wouldn't trade you for the world you should know that by now."

Yeah with the things that have been going wrong with the government, we do need that stuff and just have a lot of hope. We also need to make sure that no one will get hurt when the time comes because that's what we do best right. Right now, I feel like my mind is filled with a black cloud, because I don't know what to do anymore. I must get out of the castle now or something will happen to some of the people that are in there. "You need to calm down before things start getting out of control. I will not let you hurt yourself because of what they are doing to you and plus I have a plan to deal with that ok." Ok, I will calm down and let you get to whatever you need to do. Have a goodnight and I will see you tomorrow night.

"She is starting to show a sign again of a rogue demon and it's getting harder for her to control it. I am starting to fear what might happen if they catch her in that kind of mental state. I need to act fast and if not, something will happen in the next few days if I'm not careful. I can't stand to see her like this and plus it's harder for her because that's what has happened to her sister a few years back and I don't want that to happen to her now to come to think about it. It's getting confusing with her because she is something else that I can't explain that well. I just can't really explain, ever since I met her, but she doesn't remember who I am." I can't do this anymore and I don't know why. People just don't understand.

With all the stuff that has happened so far, I can't take it anymore I really can't. People don't want to help me at all, and I don't know why. I really hope he comes back soon, or I will go insane or maybe do something to myself. That man is going to get it if he tries to do something for me again! I'm about ready to rip his head off! There are some people I can stand more than others and he's not one of them. I can't sleep at all and it's hard controlling myself and I don't know what to do. I need help now and if I don't, I will become a rogue demon like some people that I know. I don't want to become a rogue demon and must be like that for the rest of my life. Some days I don't show any signs at all but other days I do. Azza should be here soon so I'm going to see if he can help me with it.