If I don't at least confess or have a conversation with the man then its my loss. I cannot keep myself in hope when I only turn up a fraction of the way. He is a strong, honest, handsome, loving God-fearing man so, to disregard my feelings towards him would be a loss if I don't confess. I'm not sure if this thinking or feeling is healthy for me or my heart but having my guard down like this to possibly ... well I don't wanna be rejected and I also don't want to disappoint the man.
Based on my character, I don't wanna be the one to let the man down, and because I'm only coming to that point where I'm becoming more bold in Christ really makes me think what my priorities are. I would love a husband I honestly would, but how can I even cater to him if its from a selfish place in the first place. I don't wanna cheat me or you. I stand back because I would rather him have the first picking of the best fruit rather than me be a second Eve and drag him down with my bad decision making.
Go to the place where I call you. this is what the Lord says to me and yes, I mean right now. Hoping I would get somewhere, I have a youth gathering to attend and a decision to follow my dream ... I don't think I want to be a fool and play it safe. I know where that ends, and its not good.
No contradiction.
Man finds a wife. Woman doesn't husband. This is and ought to be a God-fearing world for my sake and for the sake of having a better environment and lifestyle with and for others.
So I didn't talk to the man but my heart knows growth and how God can soften a heart of stone to a heart of flesh ...
Jesus take me with you.
I'm not worthy at all and I am deserving of death, but teach and keep me in Your ways. I want to know you Jesus no matter how painful I may get or seem. amen
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a Christian
Adventurewe'll see where this goes if it just doesn't go anywhere and has undesired results . drop it.
