A Collection (Lauren and Lisa Cimorelli)

#4: I Hate You (Part II)

Lisa's POV

She thinks that I don't notice. She thinks that I didn't notice her scars, her weight loss, her sadness. She thinks that I can't hear her cry herself to sleep every night. She thinks that we hate her. She thinks that she's alone. And that hurts me. I hate how she pushed us out of her life. I hate how much Lauren is hurting herself over some dumb decision that we made. I hate how quiet and distant she is, now. I hate how she feels like she can't trust us anymore, like she can't come to us for help. I hate all of that, but I'd never hate her.

It's been over two months, now. Two months since she told us that she hated us. Two months since we had last spoken to each other. She decided to move out of Dani's and I's room. She put all of her belongings in the guest room. That's where she sleeps now, and that's where she usually spends most of her day. Some days, I'd only see her once, for like a second or two. She refuses to eat with the rest of us. She refuses to be in the same room as us. And I hate that. I miss her.

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"Lauren? Dinner's ready." I nervously said, knocking softly on her bedroom door. Mom always asks me to tell Lauren that it was time to eat, but she never listened to me. I turned around, knowing that my baby sister isn't going to come out of her room anytime soon, and took a deep breath. My eyes started to water when I started to think about how Lauren must have felt when we told her that she was out of the band. I'll never forget the angry, confused, and shocked look on her face. I saw the light in her eyes quickly fade away. I saw the way her smile disappeared. She'll never be the same because of us. Because of me.

I heard the sound of a door opening behind me and I quickly turned my head. I almost smiled when I saw my younger sister standing there, but, instead, a frown appeared on my face. Her cheeks were flushed and pink while the rest of her face was sickly pale. Her hair was a complete mess and her eyes were dull and filled with tears. I stared at the broken girl in front of me, and I immediately start to hate myself for causing that.

"Are you okay?" I quietly asked her, my eyes looking for my sister's wrists. I hope that she didn't harm herself even more. Lauren put her eyes on me and frowned. I really wish that I could read and see what was going on in that beautiful mind of hers.

"I threw up." she finally said, her voice super raspy and hoarse.

"On your sheets?" I questionned her, genuinely concerned. How long has she been sick? Did she at least take some medication to feel better? She slowly shook her head and started coughing.

"Where?" I asked her, slowly approaching her. For the first time in two months, she didn't avoid me or walked away from me. That's a small thing, but, we're at least making some progress on fixing our strained relationship. She looked back at the door and, when she faced me again, I saw a look of shame and guilt on her face.

"On the floor." Lauren said, glancing at her feet. I gave her a small smile and put my hand on her shoulder. She surprisingly didn't shake it off like she normally would and looked at me.

"How about you go take a hot bath to feel better while I clean this up? And, if you want, you can come to my room and rest there while we wait for the smell to go away. Your bed's still in our room and you're always welcomed there." I suggested, hoping that she would accept my offer. She nodded and walked towards the bathroom the girls and I shared to go wash up. She then turned around to face me and asked me if I could get some her some clean clothes. I went in my room, grabbed a panda onesie and a couple of other things, and quickly rushed to the bathroom. I passed Lauren her clothes and she quietly thanked me before shutting the door. A smile crept on my face as I quickly ran down the stairs to get a mop and some cleaning products. I'm so glad Lauren actually talked to me. It's a start.

"What took you so long?" mom asked me as soon as I walked in the dining room. I look at the table and noticed that everybody was already sitting there, waiting for me.

"Yeah, it's not like Lauren was going to come eat with us anyways. She never does." Alex added, in a rude tone. I saw my four sisters glare at him. If looks could kill, he'd be dead and gone.

"Shut up, Alex. I'll let you know that she actually talked to me, earlier. That's why it took me some time to come down." I said, glaring angrily at my little brother. All of my sisters' and my parents' eyes widened. They dropped their utensils and stared at me.

"She did? Whar did she say?" Christina questioned me, curiously. I could see some kind of jealousy in her eyes. Maybe because I got Lauren to open up to me and not her.

"She threw up in her room, so she came out to get some towels or something and she saw me. When I asked her if she was okay, she told me that she got sick. I then invited her to go sleep and Dani's and I's room while we wait for the puke smell to leave her room, and she accepted." I told them, a smirk on my dark lips.

"My baby is sick? Excuse me!" mom said, literally jumping off her seat, grabbing the mop and some cleaning wipes at the speed ogf light, and she ran up the stairs as fast as she could. We all laugh and I sat down at my assigned seat, right in between Christian and Amy. My siblings and I were all talking about a cool vacation idea when all of a sudden, we heard our mom scream. Christina, who was sitting in front of me, and I exchanged glances, and we both got up and ran upstairs. I heard Michael and Katherine ordering our other siblings to stay seated and to stay calm.

"It came from Lauren's room. Come on." I told Christina, running towards what used to be our guest room. With Christina not too far behind, we sprinted down the hallway, and I stopped right in front of the doorway, causing my oldest sister to crash into me. We both peek into the room and we saw our mother holding a shiny object in her hands. Her mouth was wide open and she was crying. I swallow my saliva, fearing what we might see, and we both slowly stepped into the room. I let Christina go in front of me, because I was too afraid. I think I know what it is anyways.

I hear Christina gasp in horror, and that just confirms my doubts. I decide to look at it anyways, and my heart just dropped.

It was a razor. With fresh blood on it.

AN: Sorry for not updating :( I've been pretty busy because of school and everything. I hope you all liked this update and I hope it wasn't too bad hahaha

I'm trying to finish the new WAPLU chapter and I'm gonna try to get it up as soon as possible! Thanks for being so patient with me hahaha

2 comments or more for the next part:))

I love you! <3