Time Heals
Chapter 3: A Promise and A Letter
Bella
It started to drizzle as I drove to the cemetery. I guess it was only fitting though since it matched my feelings today. It had been a year since I lost dad and became completely alone. It was still hard to think that he wasn't coming home after a long day at the station or fishing which is why I'd only been here four times before and would continue to only come on those days; today, Christmas, Father's Day, and his birthday.
Arriving at the cemetery a few minutes later I took a couple of deep breaths and then grabbed the flowers sitting beside me before getting out of my truck.
Making my way slowly to his headstone I felt the tears start to well up. Once I made it I knelt down and removed the dried up flowers I'd brought in August before putting in the new ones. After getting them arranged I sat back and pulled my knees up to my chest and with tears streaming down my face I talked to him for the first time in a year.
"Hey dad. I miss you. Life in Forks is the same and they haven't come back. I know you're probably worried about me wherever you are, but I just don't know how to be happy. I promise I won't do anything stupid though because you wouldn't have wanted that.
"I haven't talked to mom in awhile. She doesn't understand why I won't come to Florida and why I can't let go of this place. I tried to explain, but you know mom she just doesn't get it and we just end up fighting.
"I'm sorry for so much. I know it's a little too late, but I just wanted you to know. I'm sorry I couldn't be the daughter you should have had. I'm sorry I let them break me. I'm sorry you had to worry about me and for putting the stress of my life on you. I'm sorry for never telling you how much I loved you or how much you meant to me. And I'm so sorry for being the reason why you aren't here anymore. You should have been out fishing today with Billy or Harry and you aren't because of me…"
I trailed off as the sobs I'd been trying to hold at bay rocked through me. Dropping my legs I lay down with my head beside the headstone and let my fingers trace his name, the dates, and the words Beloved Father over and over again while I cried
I don't know how long I lay there. It could have been minutes or hours or days, but I was finally pulled from my crying by a throat clearing softly. Dragging my eyes from where my fingers were still trailing I looked over into the sad eyes of my dad's best friend
Mustering up a small smile I sat up and said, "Hey Billy."
"Bella," He acknowledged with a nod of his head as I stood.
"I'll let you catch up." I said starting by his wheelchair.
Before I could make it by though I was stopped by a hand on my arm. Looking down Billy said, "He loved you and talked about you all the time. He was so happy when you came to live with him." He sighed once before continuing. "I know we haven't spoken since the funeral and it's not my place to really say anything, but he wanted you to be happy. That's all he asked for after the Cullen's left. I know it probably won't be easy, but try to find some happiness; if not for yourself, but for Charlie."
I closed my eyes as he finished speaking and let go of my arm. I stood there for a few seconds before opening my eyes back up. I didn't say anything, but before I started walking again I reached up and squeezed his shoulder.
As I got to my truck I looked back toward dad's grave. Taking in the flowers I'd left and Billy sitting in his chair talking to dad I whispered, "I'll try."
