I'm sorry but, Fuck you.

Chapter 5

A very slow 30 minutes of waiting for a deal I knew very little about, how fun.

I was basically trapped with a man who wants revenge against me, in a secured room. Thankfully he left after 5 minutes to watch the practical exam, allowing me to escape. 'Dumbass, idiot didn't even lock the door' Although tiresome, I tailed All Might from the shadows hoping no one saw me. After a while he walked through an extremely thick metal door, probably to the observation room. While taking my eyes away from the vault-like door, I immediately saw an enormous wall, most likely to the exam area, and the mechanical blueberry I gave ·the bird· to, no regrets.

I saw a vantage point I could use to watch the practical take place but right as I was about to warp I heard engine boy scold someone, “Hey! Why are you going over to her? Are you trying to distract her?” he said, pointing to the formerly paralyzed brunette. “If you're trying to sabotage her chances, then leave!” He continued on, to which the person who I had just identified as Katsuki replied with, “She's my girlfriend! So I can talk to her whenever I want!” and somehow that defused the whole situation. 'I'm surprised he didn't break iron-calf's ribcage, he must've grown'

Once that debacle was over with, I continued to follow my plan so I warped up and waited for the start of the exam which somehow immediately happened when I looked over to the could-be students. “Go!” Present Mic shouted somehow louder than his regular as the ginormous doors opened, leaving the kids confused. 'Idiots. Crime doesn't start and stop at a bell' “What are you waiting for!? Crime isn't going to stop itself!” Present Mic's voice rang out. Immediately everyone made a mad dash through the doors, like scavengers, hungry for victory.

'U.A has a really decent batch of wannabes this year,' I set my attention to a masked boy with six arms each with different appendages on them, 'some using their skills to track and hunt,' once again moving my attention to the Blue mechanicunt going super sonic, 'others relying solely on speed,' now looking at a red head with shark teeth crushing a robot with another, 'some with admirable determination,' seeing Katsuki somewhat more spastic than normal, 'a fierce and unbridled rage,' noticing round-face sending robots up then letting them fall, “but others with no power to back up their words. They have material but need guidance. They lack the honour and conviction of a ·True Hero· like Eraserhead.” I spoke, finishing my thoughts. After a while, Present Mic shouted, "Five minutes left!" and I could basically smell the boredom the heroes were feeling until I vaguely saw a white indistinct figure push a big red button, causing the ground to rumble and me to identify said figure as the sadist principal himself, Nezu. I looked into the mock city and saw a gigantic figure approaching the contestants although intimidation inducing, deliberately slow, as if it was like a hidden factor to the test.

'Possibly for heroics, maybe leadership?' My thoughts were cut off by people screaming and running, most probably in fear. 'This is the next generation of heroes!? They can't even fight off a stupid mecha-douche, so what chance do they stand to even be in batt-' My thoughts were cut off by a voice screaming for help. As my instincts took over, I realized something, the heroes would notice and watch me. I threw caution to the wind as I continued toward the voice, finding a pink girl trapped under debris. As I tore the concrete off of her I silently scolded everyone else with a glare seen even through my mask and carried her near the gate, then turning back to the so called '0-pointer' with a hollow look. In the blink of an eye I was standing on mist thirty feet in the air activating Malfunction to stop it abruptly, slowly wrapping it in mist and forming it into a balloon.

The robot went from standing fifty feet tall to being the size of a marble one inch in diameter.

Fashioning a dark necklace, I placed the marble in the place where the gem should be, gave it to the pink girl then warped away. Unfortunately after landing in front of Eraserhead and Nezu, I was instantly wrapped by Eraserhead's capture gear and brought to Nezu's office for either questioning or bargaining. I hoped for the latter. “Why were you on the field?” Of course I got the former, life hates me. "“Why weren't you where you were told to be? You were told to stay, so why didn't you!?” Eraserhead went off on me but I guess I saw that coming. What did catch me off guard was that two unknown men were in the corner of the room, one looking like an average detective and another who looked like All Might but if he were a balloon that got popped. 'Something about him makes me feel threatened, as if he wants vengeance for something, what does he want?' Is what I what I would've thought if I was stupid, what I actually thought was ,'He's obviously All Might' because I'm not limited to three brain cells. I gave a card saying, “Who's the detective and wet napkin?” hoping to annoy them. “Don't change the subject!” The words changed, “I wanted to see who would be stopping me in the future. Is that illegal?” to which he replied with, “Ye-, wait is it?” he asked Nezu. “Technically no, not in this situation. But what is illegal is vigilantism, hence why were after you, and we are giving you a chance to clear the jail time you earned somewhere other than a prison: Here! You have experience in the field which you can use to teach future heros how to deal with situations normal heroes can't! Plus if you do well enough, we might even pay you to teach here. It would be like that anime of the guy with the yellow head who teaches his students to kill him, or whatever.”

That last point piqued my interest, he was talking about one of my favourite animes. The money would  be nice too, a decent bonus. But back to the important part, 'I get to have my own version of Assassination Classroom.' I instantly changed the writing on the card, “Very well, I will join you. But if I get bored, you will not stop me from leaving.” moving some mist to form a small hand for Nezu to shake. “If that is your condition to the deal we will honour it,” I cracked a small smile hidden by my mask. “but we request to know your identity.” My smile dropped slightly, I didn't want my identity to be revealed. I used my card to question them, “Aside from the obvious, why?” I was genuinely curious. “We need a name and face for you to use while you work here.” “Then I would like to introduce myself. My name is Izuku Midoriya, I look forward to my time working with you Principal Nezu.” I said, my voice slightly hoarse from lack of use, as I took of my mask and put down my hood. It was clear they were shocked, seeing that the person who escaped being captured by them looked like a college first year. “Okay, what the fuck?” Aizawa questioned, before finishing his sentence.

“We thought you were young but not this young!”