Just A Little Bit ✔️

17. Kinley

Kinley Price, In Real Life

"I can't give you what you want," I tell him, closing my eyes and squeezing them shut so I don't have to see the stricken look on his face. It hurts to know that I'm the one causing it. What else am I supposed to do?

My mother raised me to guard my heart. She said music was like slashing your veins open for other people. She said it would get me hurt, and maybe she was right. Maybe this whole time I was pouring my life into something that could take it all away. But maybe, while I was writing songs and breaking my own heart, Riley was doing the same.

Riley Jameson is supposed to be the one crushing me, but it seems like it's the other way around.

"And what is it I want?" he challenges.

I sigh heavily. "You want a good girl like Holly. You want the kind of girl who knows how to give her heart away. You want— You want better than me. You want what I can't give."

A pause. A heavy silence riddled with tension.

"You don't know the first thing about what I want, Kinley," he says matter-of-factly.

"Don't I?"

His mouth presses into a firm, thin line. "Not in the slightest."

"Enlighten me, then," I retort.

Riley drags me off the ledge and spins me around to him. He grabs my hips and draws me in, crushing me against him. The rigid lines of his body meet the delicate curves of his mine, muscle against soft skin.

My hands fly up, grabbing the collar of his leather jacket for balance. The breaths leaving my lips are ragged as the air between us crackles with tension. It's so hard to breathe when we're this close, when he's holding me like this.

He ducks his head forward, his lips brushing against mine. My heart squeezes inside my chest, and a shiver runs through me, making my legs tremble. His green eyes hold mine firmly, commanding every ounce of my attention. As he angles his head, his dark brown hair falls in his face, but I still make out every expression.

He eyes me hungrily, desperately.

And then his lips find me and steal my everything with a kiss.

He kisses me quickly, making up for lost time like he may never get another shot at it. He kisses me with such fervor I don't know how I'll ever keep up with his rhythm. We move together, and as his tongue parts my lips I hear myself moan. I surrender then. I shatter then.

I tangle my hands in his hair, standing up on my toes so I can give him better access. I don't know where he ends and I begin, or where I end and he begins. The world is spinning so fast and I can barely keep up with it.

His hands slide up under my shirt, exploring my lower back. He pins me against the door leading to the roof, and when I meet the iron, it leaves a small thump in my wake. As I fall deeper into the kiss, I lose track of myself, of my feelings, of every insecurity I've been harboring.

He pulls away first, but not entirely. He keeps us close, even after the kiss is over.

"You know what I want, Kinley?" he asks.

I shake my head quickly, knees threatening to buckle.

"I want you," he says, sliding a hand through my hair. "I want you so bad it tears me up inside. You're under my skin. You're in my goddamn bones. I'm consumed by you. Every second we're apart, I feel it. I feel you before you're even in the room. I don't care what you think of yourself. I don't care what other people think. Fuck that. Fuck them. Fuck anyone or anything that's ever made you doubt me."

"I don't doubt you," I murmur, tracing his jacket zipper. "It's just... Riley... it's complicated."

"So uncomplicate it," he presses stubbornly.

"I'm not your type," I murmur. "We have the shows and the tour and real-life to handle. It's not right. You know what the tabloids will say. There are a hundred reasons why this won't work."

"And there are a hundred reasons why it will," he counters.

My pulse starts to race faster.

"Let me love you, Kinley Price," he whispers. "That's all I'm asking for."

The softness in his voice melts me.

I examine him then. I examine the jawline speckled with stubble, the eyes that see right through me. I examine his strong hands and arms and the way he grips me like he's scared of letting go. I feel his breath fanning across my face, tasting the tea he drank without having any myself.

This tattooed man known for breaking hearts is somehow vulnerable and real for me. It doesn't make sense.

"Do you want me too?" he questions. "Am I just imagining this connection? Please tell me this isn't my imagination. What I feel for you is so strong it terrifies me."

"You're not imagining it," I answer. "I swear, you're not."

I pull him in for a hug, burying my face in his chest. I breathe in his cologne, peeking at his face.

Riley. He's Riley.

I'm falling so hard for him that I don't know what to make of it.

"Please don't break my heart," I whisper.

He almost sounds bewildered. "Don't break your heart? Kinley, if anyone's heart is going to get broken it's mine. You could break my heart in an instant, and I'd keep coming back to you."

Eventually, we'll have to stop hugging, I'm just not sure when I'll bring myself to part from him. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stop falling, now that I've admitted it. I'm knee-deep in unfamiliar territory, and it's a mess.

"You don't have to tell me you love me too," he says. "I know you might feel like you have to, but you don't. There are no expectations from me. I'm not the kind of guy who wants anything from you except the chance to prove you wrong."

He means it. That scares me more than a lie. The damage someone can do with the truth is more devastating than what someone can do with falsehoods. I wonder if he knows that.

I didn't think he could love me. There's so much about the concept of falling in love that comes with strings. There are ties to circumstances, complications that make it hard to pinpoint where it began and where it ends. I don't know how he arrived at this conclusion. I don't know why he's holding me trying to tell me I was wrong.

I don't know a damn thing.

He kisses my neck, my jaw. He nips at me the way he knows I like.

"You don't play fair," I tell him, clutching him as he continues peppering me with kisses.

"I know," he says against me. "It's more fun this way."

I tug at his curls, leaning back to give him better access. He grins, and I feel the slow crawl of the smile across his full lips.

"Does that mean you forgive me, love?"

"How could I say no?"

With five words, I've sealed my fate. He's in love with me, and if I haven't fallen already, I'm getting there fast.

With five words, a smile, and another kiss, I've given him the green light to take me back to bed.

***

i should be paying attention in class but i'm def not and so i'm updating!

i love this story sm and it never gets old to write kinley and riley. i hope y'all are loving them as much as i am!!

signing off,

mads