Journey Into the Knight

Chapter Seventeen

Love, I was feeling love. YongSun tried to shake it from her head but it was too late, it was already burned in there, just like hearing Byul and TaeOh's fight over her. YongSun was sitting in the mess hall, she had left HyeJin's not long ago, the girl deeming her training complete for the day. YongSun pleaded with her to not say anything to anyone about what she had said, it was bad enough she had to admit it out loud, she wasn't ready for anyone to know until she understood what that meant to her.

Love, that was a broad word. She loved her parents, she loved both TaeOh and Byul, any of that love could have made her powers work, so why was it just when she thought of Byul's kindness did her powers flair up. Byul, her first friend, at the time she was Yul. The kind warrior from the unknown kingdom she was about to be married into, the first kind face she had come across in a while. The one who took care of her after a nightmare, the one who was by her side when her father died. Byul fought for TaeOh to help take her to Velcorn, to safety. The one person she had come across who had shown her nothing but kindness since the moment they met, that is what made her different from the others, but did that make her love for Byul different than the others as well?

She knew she loved Byul, part of it was like family, the same family love she felt for TaeOh. That part was clear now, it had become clear the moment he had kissed her, there was no love beyond what she would feel for a brother. But did this mean that she loved Byul like a sister? A protector? Maybe something a bit more? She thought back to that morning in the baths, the way she could not take her eyes off of Byul, or back in the woods the day Byul revealed herself to YongSun, how YongSun's eyes traced every inch of her. That was the day she was so sure she was going to forget about any odd feelings she had for Yul, because he was now a she, but that only made it that much harder to shake the feelings from her heart.

So now the question was, did she love Byul as more than friend, could she see her as a partner? It was not like she was oblivious to Byul's feelings or preferences, she had seen her memories after all, which honestly still felt like a large invasion of privacy, as if it was something she should have never seen. Maybe the vision was a blessing, it was the right memories for YongSun to discover something about her friends, and perhaps herself.

She knew it was okay to love a woman, she had seen it in the Knight, HyeJin and WheeIn made it work, they opened her eyes to a new type of okay. But YongSun was a princess, and now a Solarous, so what did that mean for her? As a princess, there was no way so could take a woman as her partner, that was just not the way it worked. And if she gave up that title and stayed as only the Solarous, she still had no idea what that meant. From the vision she saw with the young girl, she knew it possible for the Uju to have partners, even those of the same sex, but it was pointed out that it was usually when the Uju were together, was she destined to love the Lunarous? If they ever freed the essence from the other world, that was her mission after all, what she should be working toward, not sitting by herself in the mess hall trying to sort through her thoughts and feelings.

With a large sigh she ran her hands through her hair, she was so confused. She knew she didn't have to figure this all out right now but she rather this not cloud her mind as she tried to figure out her powers and her so called destiny as the Solarous. She wanted answers, she wanted someone to tell her what to do. HyeJin only told her to take her time and think it through, well she was trying and it was not helping one bit.

"Is this seat taken?" YongSun's head snapped up, TaeOh stood in front of her, hand on the chair across from her, clearly not occupied but it was him asking if it was okay to sit with her. She motioned with her hand for him to sit down. "You look like you are deep in thought."

YongSun tried to smile. "Just a lot going on in my head today."

TaeOh took the seat. "Yeah I was warned to leave you alone for the day, but I managed to lose my shadow and to my surprise, here you were, so I decided to take the opportunity."