Derailed

Chapter 9

I start to panic because I simply cannot believe this is happening. If this ever gets out I will be kicked out of the school and my chances of being a published writer will be completely tarnished. I have a bright future ahead of me and a boyfriend that loves me, what am I doing?

"I should go." I stand up from the couch and head towards the door without my portfolio because I'm too anxious to do this any way but rushed. I'm confused and need to make this decision for my future, no time to think about it and no turning back.  I should've woke up last weekend and left. Not shower in his bathroom, eat the food he made for me, wear his clothes, or spend another night here that I didn't need to. I get halfway down the hallway of the old apartment building before he calls my name. Suddenly I'm having flashbacks to our first encounter in the classroom.

"Olivia wait. Don't leave, can we please talk about this?" I stop in my tracks, conflicted. I start to reply but he continues talking before I get a full word out, "not out here." I get the message he's trying to send, we can't have anyone seeing us together in his apartment because I'm his student. Even if it's innocent, it's unacceptable. I take a deep breath and follow him back into his place.

"I'm sorry I just panicked."

"I'm just as confused as you are." He replies. This time we're standing in the entry of his apartment. "Listen, if you don't want anything to do with me thats okay, I'll let you leave and we will pretend this ever happened like you said. But I couldn't take the chance of losing you without talking first because even though it's confusing and I don't know what compelled me to kiss you, I do know that it felt right." He has an argument that I can't deny and I think he knows that. We both felt it.

"You're right." I drop my guard, "it did feel right."

"If you felt it too then let's give this a chance. We can make it work. I don't mean to sound pushy but I've never felt an instant connection like this to anyone before. My whole life I've been looking for my person and suddenly I feel like I found her in the most unexpected place."

"Passed out in one of your student's frat houses?" I giggle and lighten the mood. He smiles back at me while I watch his shoulders relax. "This is moving so quickly already. One week I'm your student asking you to practically tutor me and the next we're kissing and I'm sleeping in you bed."

"We can take it as slow as you want from here, just give me a chance Olivia. Let me show you that I can be the man you need." He has no idea that I have a boyfriend and I think I need to keep it that way. I can't have either of them finding out about the other at least for now.

"How do we go about this?" I imply that I'm willing to give it a chance.

"You can come here whenever you want we just can't be seen in the halls or in public together. No coffee dates, no real dates. If we're serious then we can't chance anyone finding out. Most importantly you have to be my student and only my student when we're in class. I could lose my job from this and you could be kicked out. We have to be smart about it."

"Well if you're willing to risk it then I guess I am too." I bite my lip in hesitation. The biggest smile spreads across his face as he grabs my cheeks and kisses me.

"You won't regret this." He says and kisses me more. I have a feeling I will but I will deal with that when the time comes. I can't believe I agreed to this, my life is about to get way more complicated.

Over the next week I Uber to his place after school everyday and we start spending some time together as a couple. It starts to feel more real every time I knock on his door. We binge tv shows, play board games, cook meals together, dance around the kitchen to John Mayer, it's pure bliss. Every evening gets more dreamy and romantic. Class isn't too bad, I sit in the back now to minimize anything that would give our relationship away and we never speak before or after class. All we have to do is mind our own business and we have nothing to worry about.

We've rolled back around to Friday now. It's been a really good week spending time together, I don't have to see Sasha and I get to enjoy my relationship. After dinner he sits on the end of the couch and I lay with my head in his lap.

"Let's play 20 questions." I say in attempt to learn more about Zane. After all, I did tell him about the most vulnerable part of my life and that's what brought us together.

"It's been a long time since I've been asked to play that," he laughs slightly, "You first." He says while running his fingers through my hair.

"What is your family like?"

"Well my dad is your typical business man, he worked hard to keep the lights on but I was lucky to still get to spend time with him. He would coach my baseball teams growing up and that's a memory I will always look back on fondly. My mom stayed home and raised me and my brother, she's the best. She's everything you could ever want in a mom, kind, loving, fun, smart. And my brother, well he's my brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for that guy. He's older by three years but we have always been really close." Zane had a close to perfect upbringing, one I could have only dreamed of. "I hope you'll get to meet them one day. You and my mom would get along great."

"I would love that, they sound amazing ." I blush, "okay your turn."

"How many guys have you dated before me?" Tyler rushes back to my memory when he asks that question and I'm left wondering what I'm doing with my life again. 

"Um just one." I'm technically not lying.

"What's his name, how long did you date, can you elaborate?"

"His name was Josh. We dated for a year in high school but it wasn't working out so I ended it." Now I'm really in deep with my lies. Zane knows nothing about Tyler, Tyler knows nothing about Zane. I made up fake people in both conversations. It's only a matter of time before one of them backfired on me but I don't know what else I could've done.

"So I don't need to worry about a crazy ex searching for you?" He jokes, unaware that that could possibly happen.

"Are you kidding, no!" I try to joke back.

"Good." He says. This is already going sideways, I need to be smart about this.

"You know what, it's getting late I should probably head back to the dorm." As I stand up from the couch he grabs my hand and pops up to block my path to the door.

"Stay. It's the weekend we have no obligations, no responsibilities, let's take advantage of this time."

"I don't know Zane. I thought we were going to take this slow?"

"Whatever you're comfortable with but I'd really like to spend the night with you. We'll just sleep, that's it." I'm very tempted to spend the night wrapped in his arms. As long as I can avoid conversations involving Tyler everything will be fine but I probably need to talk to Tyler soon too.

"Which side of the bed do you want?" I imply that I'm staying and a content smile spreads across his face.