The Hidden Princess: Finding Hope (Book One)

Twenty-Three: It's More of an Unspoken Assumption (e)

 I looked at the four faces looking back at me. I had never seen them so quiet, so serious. Even in training, there was always a bit of fun. However, sitting here things were different. I had been living a lie. I took a shaky breath as I tried to collect myself. Knowing that at some point this moment would come, but never knowing how to handle it when it did. "Louis is right... I have been keeping a secret. My full name is Samantha of Hillsdale and I'm a girl," I said quietly. No one responded. They were waiting for further explanation. "That is the only thing I ever lied to you about," I said, looking at each one of them hoping they would believe me. Although after living this lie for so long, I wasn't sure if they would. I wouldn't blame them if they didn't. "After Hillsdale was destroyed my only hope was the last words my father told me of my brother who was related by blood. I was told to find him. When I got to Andrew's and started to talk with Ally, we soon realized the only way that I could do that was as a boy. I needed to come to Jarrow to find answers, but as a girl I would have no way to earn a living. My only skills lay in the sword," I said. I placed my shaking hands on the table and looked around at my brothers. "I'm sorry for telling you lies... for making you believe I am someone I am not... but everything I said and did was true. The only difference is in my gender," I said. I looked at Benedict. "As the leader of our group I know that you have the final choice of what happens next. I understand if you go to Orion and let him know of my lies. I will take full responsibility and accept whatever decision is made about my future," I said. We went into another time of silence.

Benedict looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. "It's late. There is a lot to think about. Tonight we will go to sleep and in the morning, before we leave for breakfast, I will let you know what I have decided," and with that, he stood and walked to his bed. Shepherd and Alakay followed. I looked to my left and saw Louis still sitting beside me.

"You were brave to come here in disguise. I hope that you find your answers, Sam," he said and he too stood up leaving me alone at the table to question what would happen next.

The next morning my eyes fluttered open and I let out a heavy breath knowing that at any moment Benedict would be telling me my future. I slid out of bed and found that Louis was the only one still in the room.

"Benedict left early. Alakay and Shepherd went to breakfast. I wanted to see how you were doing," he asked, seeing me looking around at the empty room.

I sucked in my bottom lip. "As well as I can be," I said, trying to give a smile that didn't come.

Louis nodded walking over to me. "I've known," he said.

I let out a slow breath. "How long? Why didn't you say anything?" I asked.

Louis smiled at me. "Since your first day. From your reaction when Ally was called your girlfriend, to the way you acted with the village youth, to the way you respond when we are going shirtless or worse," he said chuckling at the last little bit. He then turned serious. "As for why I didn't say... it wasn't my place. I saw your heart was here for the right reason. You wouldn't be risking everything if what you are after isn't worth it. You are working harder than most to make sure that you show your worth. You've earned your spot here female or male," he said smiling at me. "We will face what comes next together. For now, let's eat," he said.

Breakfast was rough. Neither Benedict, Orion, nor Erik were present raising my heart rate. A handful asked what was wrong as I must not have been masking my emotions well. Soon I found myself following three of my brothers back to our room. "Where is Benedict?" I asked after a while.

"He was gone before any of us were up," Shepherd said looking around.

"I noticed Orion and Erik weren't at breakfast either," I said, feeling my nerves rising.

Louis walked over placing a hand on my shoulder guiding me to the table. "Whatever is coming we will face together," he said sitting down beside me. The other two followed.

"You've earned a spot in this sibling group, not because of your gender, but because of your skill," Shepherd said, earning nods from the others.

"There's been something missing from our group, but none of us could put a finger on it. It's you, you've changed how we work. You've improved us as individuals and as a group," Louis said. "Like Shepherd said, no matter what, we are still your brothers. If that means helping find a place you can be in Jarrow we'll do that. If it means taking you back to Andrew's; we'll do that. Hopefully it will simply mean figuring out how you fit in the Dragons now that we know more about you," he said.

There was a silence as we all waited for the unknown. Our heads snapped to the door as Benedict walked in. He looked around quickly before his eyes landed on us. He walked over and took a seat saying "Good, you're all here." He looked at me, his face void of emotions. "Like the rest of you, I didn't get much sleep last night," he said looking around at the tired faces. "What we learned about you last night changes everything. There has never been a female at this compound other than the ones here on visits. There has never been a female knight, let alone a Dragon," he said. "I spent the morning going through the documents on the forming of the Dragons and found there is no mention that you have to be male to be here. It's more of an unspoken assumption," he said. I nodded, fighting back tears.

"Even as a she, Sam is better than any boy her age and even some men. It'd be stupid to dismiss her just because she is a girl," Alakay said, jumping to my defense.

Benedict held up his hand. "Let me speak," he said, narrowing his eyes on Alakay. "Alakay is right that you are better than a lot, but it still leaves the fact you are a girl. It will be difficult for you to be here," he said his face slowly giving way to what was coming. "This decision is mine to make, but the way I am heading I can't do it alone," he said looking at the three men sitting around the table. "It will involve changes and effort for all of us in this room if we are to keep Sam's secret as she continues to apprentice here," he said. My heart stopped as his words echoed in my head. The smiles on my brother's faces showed that I had heard him right.

"From a conversation before you came in I believe we are all ready to put that effort and change into action. Tell us what we need to do to keep Sam here and her secret safe," Louis said, leaning in to hear what Benedict would say next.

The following weeks were actually harder than my first month and a half with the Dragons. My brothers took keeping my secret to heart, but that was also the problem, because they had become overprotective brothers. During training, they were going easier on me which was frustrating. It was during a run through the obstacle course that enough was enough. Alakay was leading us, while the rest of us were blindfolded. We had done decently and were to the rope swing onto the log. I heard Benedict and Shepherd make it. Louis and I were next. Alakay called it slightly too soon sending me crashing into the log. I felt my skin tear and knew that I had scraped it badly.

"Sam! I'm so sorry," I heard Alakay call and felt a hand come on my shoulder.

"Alakay, you got to work on your timing," Benedict said. I felt my brothers come around and heard their mumbling as they looked at my wound. I took my blindfold off and saw them standing around. I looked down to where my leg was bleeding.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I should have been careful. You can go get that cleaned up. We'll finish," he said.

I glared at them. "No! I've had it. You are treating me like a girl! You've been doing it since the ball. I know you've been going easy when we train. I know you are going out of your way to make me comfortable. It's sweet, but sweet doesn't cut it for a Dragon. If you guys don't shape up and start acting as we talked about this will be all for nothing. Now, we are going to finish the obstacle course," I said. I ripped my shirt sleeve and wrapped my leg before standing up with a wobble. "Let's move," I said, putting my blindfold back on.

"I'm not sure what is happening with your group, but you have been falling short for a few weeks now," I heard Erik say as we crossed the finish line.

"That should change," I said, ripping my blindfold off and handing it to Erik. "I'm going to clean my leg," I said, not looking back as I walked off. After I lashed out at them everything went back to normal. Well, as normal as it can get for being the only girl living on a compound of guys.