We Go Down (Bremmy 2)

Chapterish 2

Yes, we're still at brunch because let's be honest: Brunch is never really over. Or shouldn't be at least.

Trix's giant diamond ring snags my attention and brings it back to our table.

"OK lovebird. Back to me, please," Trix whines, putting her mimosa flute in my line of vision. Brooks's backside is blurred by her orangey champagne.

"What's that look?" I ask, eyeing Trix across the table.

"What look? I don't have a look." Trix smirks and shrugs her shoulders as she butters another flaky croissant.

"You do. It's the I'm Teresa Barr and I'm judging you look," I say and roll my eyes for good measure.

"Me? Judge you? Never!" She feigns disgust.

"What was I thinking?" I laugh.

"I'm so happy for you, Em. Both of you. Yes even Brooks's sorry ass," Trix says, laughing over me.

"Not such a sorry ass anymore," I smirk.

"So you think it's it this time? The real deal, huh?" Trix asks, stabbing a piece of melon with her fork.

"Who said I said that?" I raise my eyebrows. I chase the blueberries around my plate with a fork.

"Your face," Trix laughs. "Oh come on! You're forgetting I've been sidelining this whole Em and Brooks game since high school. Seen every play. I know things and I know you."

I can tell by her tone of voice and that innocent but confident look on her face that she's waiting for me to answer –waiting for me to deny. But I can't. I merely shrug.

"OK. I think it's it this time." I nod and drain my mimosa. It has to be. The alternative is too painful. The alternative is we aren't meant to be together.

"Knew it," Trix grins.

"Yea, yea. Weren't we getting back to you? Some more wedding planning or shit?" Shift the focus, Em. Casual.

"Fucking yes we were!" Trix squeals. "So as you know, most all the big things have been decided."

She grabs her phone and starts bringing up photos and lists and showing me her wedding website.

I listen to Trix's bridal monologue as she lists and double lists all the main essentials of her wedding. She's right. Mostly all the big things have been decided in the last six months –since she visited me and we had our little fort slumber party in Seattle.

It hurts a little when I think about Trix moving along with her plans and her life these last six months. Hurts when I think about how I was really just standing still inside myself, not bothering to even try. But that's a pity party for another time. No time to wallow now. Now I've got Brooks. Now I've got us.

Yes, I'm still pathetic.

"So you can come to the cabin weekend now!" Trix claps her hands together. The sound echoes in the empty marble hallway. I can tell this has been bubbling inside her, waiting to spill out.

"Cabin weekend? I can come now? What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, folding my arms. I mean, of course I know what it means.

We're standing in the foyer in front of the elevator doors. I catch a whiff of her perfume as she flips her hair across shoulders and I'm instantly transported to summer.

"Well, we were going to do a sort of weekend away. The group I mean. You know, pre-wedding, pre-married couple and all that. And I didn't mention it before because I know you weren't going to stay long and I know, I mean..."

"Trix, babe, relax," I almost laugh.

Watching her try to find words is almost too painful. So she didn't want to invite me away with the group –with him –and have to deal with mopey Emmy. I can hardly blame her.

"You're not mad?" Trix sighs.

"Of course not. It's OK. I get it, even," I say, keeping my voice steady. I do get it, after all. It only stings a mild bit, less you're your average hot wing. Maybe 6/10 at the most. "And hey, like you said now I can come."

"And I'd love nothing more, Em." Trix grins.

"When is it?" I find myself asking. Because yes, already I am picturing Brooks and I cozied up fireside, legs entwined, snow falling outside. Already I'm daydreaming myself back to New Years in Vail.

"Two weeks and everyone's coming. Yes, everyone," Trix repeats, eye-rolling my major sigh at the word everyone. "Meg and Nate, me and Travis, Brooks and now you! Alex and his girl Whit. Oh, Brody and Lauren are coming too! Only way we could persuade Brooks to come. Though now I doubt we'd have any problems."

"Trix!" I swat at her arm.

The little 'L' button illuminates and the elevator doors open in front of us. We begin ascending to the floor our rooms are on and I am actually counting down the seconds until I see Brooks again. You know, I'd really love to be strong for women everywhere and say I hope I'm not always like this, but I can't.

I do hope it. I hope I never lose this feeling.

Travis and Brooks are waiting for us in Trix's room. I still can't believe they got a hotel room when Travis has an apartment up here in NYC now. Only the best to be boujee for NYE. Not that Travis's painfully hipster pad can't be boujee. I'm sure it is.

"So we'll meet you guys downstairs in half an hour? How's that?" Travis asks.

I turn to look at Brooks. Sunlight pours in through the giant windows, drenching us in warmth, and its light dances in Brooks's eyes. He smirks and I already know what he's thinking.

"That works," Brooks answers.

"Sure," I echo.

Trix smirks at me from behind the mini kitchen's breakfast bar. I shoot her daggers one last time before spinning on my heels and following Brooks out the door.

I slip into my yoga leggings and chunky sweater and lace up my boots. I flip my hair into a messy pony, spritz my perfume in front of me and walk straight through the fragrant cloud. Brooks watches me from the bed and I just roll my eyes at him.

"You'll want to get dressed," I say, smirking. "We have like six minutes 'til we have to meet them downstairs."

"What if we just ditch. Play vacation a little while longer," Brooks asks, his tone teasing as he pulls on his jeans.

"Tempting offer," I quip. "But you know we can't get away that easily."

I blot my lips together, freshly dewy thanks to my berry balm. Brooks wraps his arms around me and I breath in the familiar scent of his hoody. He spins me to look at him and smirks. I return it.

"Ready?" Brooks asks.

I can tell he's inquiring about more than whether or not I'm prepared to go downstairs. I nod.

"Then, let's go tell everyone we got back together."

Brooks's laugh is playful and I'm grateful for it. The longer we can laugh at ourselves, the longer we can ride this out. Sure it's crazy, but we get points for being self-aware, right?

I'll take what we can get.