A Chance Meeting

Chapter 5

My room was no longer a room, it was a prison. Metaphorical steel bars lined my window and the door had grown a massive padlock to make sure that whoever was locked up inside stayed there. Only the worst type of people belonged in it; Those that hurt their friends.

I was both a prisoner and the warden of this place. When I got home last night, I went straight to my room and locked the door. I haven't left since. Not even to shower or brush my teeth. I didn't have it in me to care about personal hygiene.

I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid. I could only imagine how much I hurt Ruff. She'd had a date and still made time for me. She didn't complain, or cancel, or anything.

And what did I do? I falsely accused her of ignoring me. I'd been ignoring her; I didn't even know her work schedule! I didn't deserve a friend like her.

Maybe that's why I lost her. There's no way she would ever even consider being my friend anymore, and I can't blame her. The only person to blame is the person who's locked herself in her room. The sun's warm rays that had been so welcoming yesterday had been covered with blinds; I didn't deserve to feel anything positive. I deserved to rot in this room until I starve.

All of the color had been drained out of my room. The walls, which had once been a beautiful pastel green, had turned into a gray pit of hopelessness. Even my bedsheets, which were already gray, seemed like something had come and sucked out all the life out of it.

Hiccup had seen me walk in, a complete and utter mess. He'd tried to talk to me, but I walked right by him like he wasn't even there and locked myself into room. Seeing him only made me feel worse. How could I insinuate that he was a better friend than someone I'd known for as long as I could remember?

I couldn't blame Hiccup, though. He'd done nothing wrong, after all. Once again, it was my stupid perspective on the world that screwed me over. I'd been so desperate for someone that could focus on me 24/7 that I allowed a homeless person to stay with me. That was crazy! Ruff was right to be skeptical of him. A few days is nowhere near enough time to know a person well enough.

But what's happening with Hiccup is an extenuating circumstance, I argued. Hiccup had taken me in when he didn't even know my name. All he knew about me was that I was drunk and asleep and vulnerable. When the next morning came, he acted like it was no big deal! Like it was normal to take strangers into your house. That wasn't the type of person who would fake being homeless just to get access to a woman's apartment.

It was only fair that I repaid the favor when he was the one in need. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I'd left him there in that alley. If it wasn't for Hiccup taking me in, I don't think I would've acknowledged that someone was even there. I would've just kept walking by like everyone before me did.

Being with Hiccup seemed to make me a better person, but it was also tearing apart my other friendships. And by friendships, I meant friendship. Had I really been so self-centered that I'd lost all of my other friends? I hadn't been really close to many people in college, but there were people I'd talked to. I thought that I'd dropped them all after I graduated, but what if it was the other way around?

God, I was so delusional. How could I build myself on such a tall pedestal and only notice when I've been kicked off?

My phone buzzed. It was a text from Ruff.

Found job opening at the grocery store off of main street for your bestie.

I couldn't comprehend the words on the screen. Even through everything I had told Ruff, she'd still went and hunted for a job for a person I was sure she didn't like. I didn't deserve Ruffnut. That girl had a nasty reputation in college for being impatient, but she seemed to have an endless supply of rope with me. Unfortunately, it seemed as if I'd used the rope to build a bridge, only to burn it (that's one h*ck of an extended metaphor). And even then, she'd found Hiccup a job!