WANDERLUST • VKOOK ✓

22 | scars we carry

"Whoa.. we... we really did it" Taehyung was still loopy, trying to wrap his head around what just happened. He just got out of the shower and was now lying flat on the bed, staring at a fixed point on the ceiling as he did his best to give his nonsensical thoughts a meaning.

"Yup" was Jungkook's response, his naked body bundled up in a clean towel to shield him from the cool breeze coming from the open window. It was around 2 am but they were both far from being sleepy and would have definitely gone for another round if only they weren't feeling incredibly sore.

"Didn't think you were that.. talented mister" the younger teased, playfully hitting Taehyung's shoulder.

"I tried my best" the latter smiled, flashing Jungkook his signature boxy grin.

An awkward silence followed, a silence that could be quite well explained by the fact they were both still playing the previous hour's events in their head like a movie set on a loop, so much was the excitement involved in those unforgettable moments.

"that thing.." Jungkook took the word first, turning his head to the side. "that thing you did with your mouth... where did you-" he said, but Taehyung interrupted him.

"i don't know" he retorted in all sincerity, his big emerald eyes widening. Then, they stayed quiet for a while, the only sound to be heard those of their breaths synching together, chests falling and rising at the same time.

"there's something i want to ask you.. but i'm afraid it will hurt you" Taehyung suddenly said, boldly facing Jungkook as he spoke. Right then, he saw the boy's eyes losing color as if the light that once lighted them up had been abruptly switched off.

Jungkook somehow knew what Taehyung wanted to ask. And although it wasn't easy for him to open up about it, he was gonna make that sacrifice just for him. For his precious Tae.

"Go on. What is it?" Jungkook spoke, pretending to not know, pretending to not have seen how Taehyung's eyes landed on his freshly wounded skin the moment he undressed in front of him.

"those..." the older boy began to speak, his voice low and deep "those scars on your wrists... are they self-inflicted?" he asked at last, a lump forming in his throat as those words left his mouth.

He hated to be asking that. He hated having to bring up that delicate issue, especially after he unintentionally discovered all those awful objects hidden by Jungkook in the bathroom cabinet for no one to see.

Except he did see... so now he knew. He knew what Jungkook was going through on a daily basis. Though the thing he did not know was... why? Why did he do all that?

Being unsatisfied with his relationship was out of the way since he realized Jungkook didn't care at all about money and only wanted him for him, his pure heart and love.

Then, what was it that made Jungkook miserable to the point he kept on hurting himself day by day, taking all those pills, scarring his wrists and binging on cigarettes?

"it's ok if you don't wanna tell me.. i'd totally understand" Taehyung told his boyfriend, holding his hand as he spoke. He wanted him to know he was there like he had always been and would have always be.

Jungkook wasn't looking at him. Instead, he kept staring at the ceiling like he was alone in the room, blinking every now and then and letting out noisy breaths, deeply focused on his thoughts.

Then, he finally cleared his voice and spoke.

"when i was a kid.. i never really fit in that much.." the boy started talking, his voice hushed like Taehyung wasn't just a few inches from him "so my parents thought it could have been a good idea to send me to summer camp... you know those holiday projects teachers organize to make kids socialize a bit and meet new people" he paused "worst idea ever" he added, shaking his head in disdain.

"so.. summer comes around and i'm dazzled. All happy, excited.. you know the drill. Long story short i begin my summer vacation and meet a lot of new friends, do a lot of fun stuff and even manage to overcome my social awkwardness to some degree, somehow.." the boy was telling that story in a cheerful tone, but there was something about his eyes that gave away the presence of an unexpected twist to his seemingly innocuous narration.

Taehyung foreshadowed something dark was about to come out of Jungkook's mouth. It was just a matter of time.

"but then one day.." the younger took a deep breath before continuing, goosebumps forming all over his skin. "as we were playing hide & seek in the woods.. me and some of my friends that is.." he paused again so Taehyung squeezed his hand tightly in his, encouraging him to go on.

"it started raining. I didn't notice until i got out of my hideout, though once i did... everybody had left. I was left there alone in the woods.. i didn't exactly know how to get back to the campground so i just stood there, waiting for someone to come pick me up.. till someone actually did" Jungkook ended the sentence with a sigh, eyes turning glassy. Taehyung was paralyzed, listening to the boy's words like it was gospel, hoping he didn't stop because of how hard it was for him to finally open up.

Luckily though, Jungkook took the word again. "Mr Wang, that was his name. My P.E instructor. Need someone to help poor middle schoolers keep in shape to do all those stupid sports games youth workers force them to do, right? Anyway, that's not the point... the point is, the man found me soaking wet and crying under the rain and brought me to his side of the camp, you know.. where the rest of our teachers were... to keep me "safe"" Jungkook went on saying, still not locking eyes with Taehyung who was already feeling on the verge of crying.

There were so much pain and sadness in Jungkook's words. It also showed in his eyes, in the way his lips trembled the moment he said his teacher's name or the way his hand was cold and motionless in Taehyung's.

"let's just say he did anything but keep me safe that night" Jungkook sniffled, holding in the tears slowly forming in his eyes "he uhm.. he told me I'd misbehaved and that he needed to give me a lesson and.." he added, his voice getting more and more strangled as he went on, tears now streaming freely on his cheeks as he didn't even try to hold them in anymore. Made sense now why he was home-schooled...

"I don't want to know. I don't need to. I understand" the older boy stated, pulling Jungkook in a warm embrace and planting a kiss on his forehead, hot tears prickling his eyes as they laid there in silence, cuddling.

"you're the most precious thing in the world, you know that?" that's what Taehyung said the moment he finally met Jungkook's lost gaze, wishing he could fill his eyes with joy again, cause that boy deserved nothing but happiness. He was gonna make sure that was the last time he ever saw him cry.

Jungkook buried his head in Taehyung's chest as a response, the boy's warm body reinforcing his. Then, after some time, Taehyung heard his voice again "and you're literally the only reason i'm still alive at this point" he breathed, his sincere words melting Taehyung's heart.

As much as what he said was beautiful, it was still incredibly heart-breaking but at least Taehyung was glad Jungkook had been able to share even his the darkest, deepest secrets with him... something that proved he trusted him with his life.

They both drifted off after that, still in each other's arms, their minds setting off for dreamland where they could finally get a break from reality.

Though in the silence of the night, a phone could be heard buzzing. It was Taehyung's and Jimin was looking for him.