Wordless but not Speechless

Chapter 2- Gab

"I woke up with the thought of JC, then I unexpectedly met a boy who was once my preschool classmate."

I was going downstairs when I saw my mom talking to a middle aged woman. They seem to know each other very well and were catching up. When I was going to approached, a boy passed by and called the middle aged woman 'ma'. Anong ginagawa nila sa bahay namin?

I don't care about him. Yan yung iniisip ko. Kailangan ko lang kunin ang baon ko. Then, my mom introduced me to the boy. The time suddenly froze and my heart skip a beat nung nag sink in na who he was. Gab, short for Gabriel, an old preschool classmate. Nagkatinginan kami ng saglit before he walks away. Hindi na niya ako kilala. 

***

I was 4 years old when I was enrolled to a preschool program in a new and small private school.

I was looking around quietly in my chair. Just looking. No plans in talking.

I don't have friends nor making any moves to have one. Too shy to move an inch.

A girl in front of me would smile at me. A boy sitting far from me would smile at me. We never played together, we never talk but I consider them as my friends kasi sila lang ang ngumingiti sa akin. My friends na ako lang ang nakakaalam. 

Our teacher were discussing when I felt the need to go to the bathroom. I took up all the courage that I have and raised my hand under my table. I kept on raising it but the teacher could never see it. Masyado akong mahiyain to raised my hands above my table. Too shy? oo alam ko. Then a boy went in front and asked something to the teacher. He then went outside, I guessed he went to the bathroom. I just need to wait. 

Couples of minutes passed by and I can't hold it anymore. I really need to pee but that boy have not yet back. I was jiggling my legs to prevent it. I was tapping my hands behind my chairs and I can't feel any tingling sensation for any urinary leakage. Kahinahinala. I checked my self and the urine was all over the floor. Wala pang nakakapansin. Kinuha ko ang panyo ko and I secretly wipe it but it was not enough. I was nervous and anxious. Nanginginig na ako. Hindi na ako makakilos at makahinga ng maayos. My teacher suddenly talks behind my back. I was looking at her with much guilt and shame. She was annoyed and shouting kasi we are free to ask permission to go to the comfort room at bakit wala akong sinabi, ika nya. Napatingin ako sa pintuan and that the boy who went outside came back. 

I was looking around and they were laughing at me. The girl in front of me laughed at me but that boy sitting far from me seems concerned. I bow down my head. 

I was too embarrassed that I stopped attending that school.

***

I felt nothing seeing him again, just thankful that he didn't laughed at me back then. I just remembered that scene that makes me more aloof. 

He seems doing great naman. Kasing tangkad ko lang siya. Tumaba ng konti. At parang hindi na niya ako naaalala. And that's fine.

I took my pocket money to my mother when I realized that we went to the same school and he is our neighbor. Kaya pala sila nandito.