Wordless but not Speechless

Chapter 4- Khenier

"His words will fill our four walls with laughter but his life will drown you to your own tears."

Uwian na. I had my usual routine going home. I was still pondering about Vic and the things he had done. I would love to try but to coward to oppose my parents vision of a perfect daughter.

What kind of a perfect daughter I' am?

I'am...
A daughter who goes to school and study hard.
A daughter who would go home early.
A daughter who follows the curfew.
A daughter who won't skip classes.
A daughter who ask permission a week prior to commitments.
A daughter who stays at home when they say 'no'.
A daughter who follows her parents lead.
A daughter who answers the first call ring.
A daughter who never been in trouble.
A daughter who never lie and curse.
A daughter whose parens in touch of your teachers and parent's friends.
A daughter who is timid.
A daughter who freaks out having bad grades.
A daughter who is afraid to talk about her parents to her friends.
A daughter who is afraid to bring friends at home.
A daughter who rejects friends if my parents dislikes them.
A daughter whose image was build with their standard.
A daughter who doesn't know who she was without her parents.

Hindi sa nagmamaktol kung paano nila ako pinalaki. They are ahead of me by time and experience. They know what life might offer. They just want to prepare me and this is the kind of preparation they want for me. And I'm fine with it.

I was meditating when I ask myself, do I really want to try what Vic had done? My answer is no, and this is my own decision molded by who I was, secretly.

Not far from where I was, I saw my friend who brings a knife with him, na ako lang ang nakakaalam. I asked him before why he is bringing a knife inside the school premise. He firmly respond, "for protection". Hindi ko siya sinumbong, hindi ko rin pinagkalat. Alam ko naman na hinding hindi niya yun magagamit. I was kinda helping him fighting with his issues. Was I really helping?

He went inside his home. Tahimik. Malinis. Modern style. Madilim kahit may konting araw pa. May puting mabalahibong aso na nagbabatay sa may pinto. Napupuno ng mga halaman na nakasilid sa malalaking berdeng paso. Hindi masyading malaki, hindi din masyading maliit ang bahay na dalawang tao lang ang nakatira. He has a wonderful house, honestly. I like the structure and design. I like sa spacious lot. He actually has a better house than I.

His mom is sweeping outside when he took her hands para mag-mano. Bigla nalang nitong itinulak papalayo ang kanyang kamay at nagpatuloy sa pagwawalis. Her brows were meeting. Mad and unpleasant expression were on her face.

His eyes look so sad, defeated. Buntong hininga at konting kamot sa ulo lang ang nagawa niya. His eyes is longing for love. His eyes is longing for a warm embrace of his mom.

He might have a better house but I have a better family.

I don't know much about Khenier and his mom but I know he has been living in a sorrowful life. He's been bearing the torch of fault that was never his responsibility. His life is a mystery to all that no one intends to solve. Because we all know that our class clown has been living a miserable life and we respect his decision of privacy.

Maraming nangyayari sa buhay natin at maram ring nangyayari sa buhay ng iba. Pero hindi natin kailangan malaman lahat to show sympathy and impudent understanding.

We not need to know everything to show respect and give love. It's a gift and it's free to share.

When other people said that respect should be earn, I still stand to the idea that it should be given too, with or without validation. Because in the world where people are too busy letting the society understand them, we tend to forget understanding them as well.

We became selfish and egocentric, and I am avoiding it.

I'm home and I love my walk today. Kaya mahal na mahal ko ang paglalakad. Nakakapag-isip ako.