Reasons To Live

Chapter Four

Life hasn't been the same ever since the death of my mother.  Home hasnt really been home when the loved one is gone. After my mothers death on my birthday, August 29th, I wasnt myself. I was rather a shell of myself. I often saw her smiling at me. Sometimes, she talked to me and pet my brothers. I told Doctor Hassan about it and he moved us out of the house to his residential house where he lived with his wife and daughter.

Her burial ceremony was scheduled to hold on September 5th, a week after her death. Friends and families were present, distanced relatives also found their way to the burial ground. Each tried to do one thing or the other. Few of my friends from Unilorin too graced the interment, I was actually surprised when I saw Ayewa Precious, the lady in Zoology whom I had a misunderstanding with during schooldays.

At the graveside, dark clouds covered the surface of the sky, then it started drizzling. The pastor preached about the living a good life and people came to say good things about her when she was alive. I was called upon to read a poem in honour of my late mother, I read it with tears in my eyes.

When I lay there beside you,
Would you feel me there?
My arms were wrapped around you,
And I was stroking your hair.

I was talking about all the good times,
For me they were every single day.
I wanted you to feel love and comfort,
And happiness in some way.

I watched your every breath,
And prayed that each wasn't your last.
The time we got to share together,
Went by too quick...Too fast.

I wanted you to wake up,
Please Mum...you can still open your eyes.
And tell me this is a nightmare,
And not our goodbyes.

As your last breath drew closer,
We lay silently together.
My heart continually breaking,
Because I wanted you forever.

Then there it was,
Your final breath of air.
I didn't want to believe it,
You were so cruel and unfair.

I held your beautiful face,
And prayed you'd breathe again.
I wasn't ready for you to go,
I couldn't admit that this was the end.

But then I realized that you were now in peace,
And you would not suffer anymore.
You were beginning the life of an Angel,
And your body would no longer be sore.

I held you close and squeezed you tight,
And tried to say goodbye.
I've lost my Mum and my number one best friend,
All my heart could do is cry.

I slowly got up,
I wanted so much to stay.
I leaned over and gave you one more kiss,
It was so hard to walk away.

Mum, you are my entire world,
And I miss you very much.
I wish I could feel your lovable cuddle,
And your soft and gentle touch.

But for now I have to wait,
Until we meet again.
You will always be in my heart and thoughts,
My dear Mum and best friend.

Always and Forever,
Our hearts will always touch.
Always and Forever,
Your baby boy loves you so much.

I finished the poem with a heavy heart that I didnt know when I gave myself into a loud cry. My immediate brother did the same too except for Feranmi who wasnt aware of what is going on at the moment.

I watched as my mom was lowered into the grave. Darkness hovered around her coffin as the sands poured on it. The Pastor said his memory verse, ‘ashes to ashes, sand to sand and eventually prayed for the family.

After the interment, I sat right beside my moms grave which has now been covered with sand. She was buried right beside my late fathers grave. I could remember she once brought me to the particular spot and warned me about the dangers of smoking and how injurious it is to health. Your father died of lung cancer due to his high intakes of cigarettes. His lungs were damaged when he died. She always told me, when she was alive, Son, even when you become successful in life, dont ever think of cigarettes and alcohol. Smokers are liable to die young. Her words are now memories.

While thinking about my mother, I received a text. It was from Ayewa Precious, my friend in school. It read:

Im sorry about your moms death, may her soul Rest in Peace. Ive gone back home when I didnt see you after the the interment... take care of ourself.

Xoxo
Precious

When it was some minutes after 7, Doctor Hassan came to where I was sitting and said words of motivation and encouragements before taking my siblings and I to his residence.