Must Love Hyenas

27: Joker's Ploy

Harley awoke to a dull pain everywhere in her body. She thought it was a good sign because if she'd been in Heaven, there wouldn't have been any, and if she'd ended up elsewhere, there would've been more.

Opening her eyes took a concentrated effort, but she managed. The room around her was sterile white and plain. Nothing decorated the walls, but as she glanced toward the edges of the bed where she was lying, Harley noticed medical machinery. A small monitor beeped with the pulse of her heart. A tall coat rack looking stand was near the head of her bed, a clear bag of fluid hanging from it, a connected tube linked the bag to the back of her hand where a needle was plugged into her vein.

Harley felt groggy, wondering where she was and how she'd gotten there. She tried to sit up, but a firm hand took hold of her shoulder and gently eased her back down. Her eyes were tired, but she forced them to move and see who else was in the room with her.

Standing beside the bed with a concerned look on his nearly perpetually grinning face, Joker squeezed her shoulder in a supportive manner. He sat down on the edge of her bed, taking her hand in his.

"How?" was all her raspy voice would manage before failing to say anything at all.

"When you didn't come back, we started searching," Joker explained. "We found the crash site and got you some help. Doctors say you're going to be fine."

"Scarecrow," Harley croaked.

"We know," he acknowledged, patting the back of her hand. "He had ambush sites at several locations. We lost six men because of it. Apparently, he expected someone to catch up with him. We're not going to be able to go after him directly again. We'll have to come up with something else and attack Scarecrow sideways, from an angle he wouldn't expect."

Joker leaned forward and placed and gentle kiss upon Harley's forehead.

"Don't you worry," he whispered in her ear. "I'll take care of everything, and you'll be out of here soon."

***

When Joker pushed Harley's wheelchair into the corridor, she saw doctors and nurses cowering against the walls while Joker's soldiers were keeping them under a watchful gaze, automatic weapons in hand and ready to use.

"Did you take over this whole hospital?" Harley questioned.

"No," Joker denied. "Not the whole hospital. Just this floor, and the ones above and below to ensure no one tried to come at us from those directions."

Harley smiled. She tried to reach back and pat his arm, but a lance of pain through her side made her abruptly give up the idea. Joker saw the attempt and her flinch of pain, and he paused their departure long enough to lean over the back of her wheelchair, his arm wrapped around her and resting over her collarbone. Harley inclined her head toward him and squeezed his hand. He responded by kissing her cheek.

"How long have your people been here?" Harley asked as a troublesome thought dashed through her mind and left footprints of worry behind.

"We took over when we brought you in," Joker explained, standing back up and beginning to push her wheelchair toward the elevator.

"Haven't the police responded yet?" Harley questioned.

"Oh yes," Joker replied gleefully. "It looks like the entire police force is camped around the building."

"How do we get out?" Harley insisted, wondering why Joker was so casual about being surrounded by the trigger-happy ranks of the GCPD.

"We're going to walk right past them," Joker answered. "Trust me. You'll see."

Harley sighed, shifting slightly to get comfortable and await whatever Joker had in mind.

***

The front doors to the hospital slid back automatically when the sensor detected the approach of Harley, Joker, and the trailing army of goons withdrawing from their occupation of the building. Hundreds of guns snapped up and into line with them, covering the emerging group from multiple angles. Harley knew it would take only one slip, one accidental firing of a gun to start all the shooting, something Harley and Joker would be unlikely to survive. She wondered if she'd lived through the car wreck only to be killed leaving the hospital.

"Commissioner Gordon," Joker called out in a sing-song voice. He stepped around Harley and walked out into the open with his hands raised in a nonthreatening manner. "I have something for you. One of your men can come and get it if you like."

A SWAT team member came forward, and Joker nodded toward the pocket of his purple suit. The policeman was about to reach in when Joker asked, "Was that the pocket I left the primed mousetrap in?"

When the officer jerked his fingers back, Joker snickered in amusement.

"There's nothing in there but a phone," Joker assured the man. "It's what on the phone you need to worry about."

"What's the code?" the policeman questioned as he retrieved the device from Joker's pocket.

"One, one," Joker whispered before looking around as if to be sure no one else was listening. "One, one."

The SWAT officer shook his head while Joker chuckled. The color drained from the cop's face as he swiped across the screen and saw the images Joker had on the device.

"Be sure to tell your boss, I have someone elsewhere, ready to set them off if we're not allowed to leave," Joker added. "You can keep the phone, but you had better hurry before the timers get too far down to be deactivated."

The cop ran back to the police line and handed over the phone to his superior. A few seconds passed while the photos were examined. Gordon glared at Joker before waving to his men. The cops reluctantly lowered their guns and allowed Joker and his people to leave.

***

"Puddin', what was on that phone?" Harley asked as they drove away from the hospital.

"It had pictures of various locations and wired barrels of laughing gas," Joker explained. He didn't say anything else, but his grin widened.

"What?" Harley questioned.  "You actually wired the city this time?"

"With all the running around and gassing business owners," Joker told her, "Wilkins has been hard pressed to keep up with the demands, so we didn't really have any to put in those barrels."

"You got them to back down, and you didn't really have anything?" Harley gaped. "Again?"

"It worked with Bane's bombs," Joker replied. "The bluff won't work forever, so we might as well get some use out of it while we can."

Despite the pain in her side, she giggled. Joker joined in with his own unrestrained laughter. When the mirth ended, Joker glanced at her sideways.

"When we get home, I've got something you'll want to see," he told her. "It seems Batman survived his encounter with Bane and left us a package."