What Makes Me "Me"

Chapter Two - Scars

I sat up straighter next to her on the bench. She wiped the remaining tears out of my eyes and the makeup off from under them. We sat in silence, staring at each other for a while. I tried figure out what to say next. I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make her upset or start crying again.

Slowly, but carefully, I grabbed her arm. She didn't know what I was doing until I turned it over and rolled up her sleeve. There were so many scars all over her wrist and up her arm. I couldn't believe it. I felt bad. That's why she would always wear long sleeve, even in the summer.

"Aren't you hot?" I'd always say. She'd tell me she had sensitive skin on my arms and need to keep them covered. She will never be able to tell that lie again, not now. I know the truth now.

So many emotions went through my mind. I finally realized how bad everything was. I finally realized what she had gone through and how much it must have hurt her. I finally realized that the amazing girl sitting next to me almost took her life.

"Avery, I... I don't know what to say.." I said. I was still shocked. I felt dizzy and I could see my hands starting to go a little pale.

"Don't say anything, then," she said, rolling down her sleeves. "It's the past, so just forget about it. Pretend it never happened or I never told you anything. Just think of me as the same person you thought I was until I told you all this. Don't think of me any different, don't treat me any different, because that's the reason why I didn't want to tell you. Please, Dustin. I'm just same old Avery."

I looked at her, her beautiful brown hair down just past her shoulders, her big brown eyes that I once thought were an open book, which turned out to be full of secrets. I wish she would have told me this sooner. I mean, I'm her best friend. I should be there for her and help her when she needs it. I started getting a little upset, offended she kept a secret this big from me. I've never kept anything from her...

I snapped out of it. I thought of what I would do if I were in her position: with so much hurt, so many terrible memories. She must remember those every night when she sleeps... the pain she went through. She didn't tell me because she didn't want to relive it again, and she didn't want me to think of her as a person that's broken, that needs help. She just wanted a friend. And a friend is what she'll get.

"I'll think of you as the same old beautiful Avery. The Avery who loves the brownies I make, the Avery who I can tell all my secrets to, the only girl my mom would ever let me have a sleepover with because our parents... sorry, your aunt and uncle and my parents are really close. The only person who I can listen to Justin Bieber with," I said.

She laughed when I said that. I was glad that, even now, I was the one making her smile. I smiled back at her, and she gave me a hug. Her hugs are the best. They feel so... perfect, I guess? Like we fit together, like our bodies were designed for each others. It's a weird feeling, a feeling I've never had before. She pulled away from me and looked at her watch.

"Oh shit, my Mom.. err, aunt, wanted me home by four because we're having dinner early tonight. They're going out to some banquet thing with some old friends. It's almost four now, I should probably get going. Are you going to come?" she said as she stood up and grabbed her backpack.

"Yeah, I'll walk you home. It's not like it's out of my way or anything," I said. I winked at her, and she laughed. Hearing her laugh again because of something that I said made me feel special.

We walked through the neighbourhood home, talking about school and our classes, avoiding anything that has to do with our conversation earlier. For a girl who's "shy" around boys, she could sure as hell talk a lot. And really, really, fast. After she would say something, it would take me a second to register what she'd actually said.

When we got to her house, there were no cars in the driveway and the door was shut and locked. She checked her phone to make sure she hadn't gotten a text when I saw a note on one of the plants next to her porch.

"Avery, what's this?" I asked her, picking up the note. She took it from my hand and read it.

"Dammit, they already left. Their friends called and told them to come earlier to help set up tables or something, so they had to leave. They said I could make dinner or have left overs, and that they'd be home around 8:30, 9:00.  Fantastic."

"Do you want to come over to my place for dinner?" I asked her.

"Do you think your mom would mind?" she asked.

"Probably not, you're like a niece to her. She always says how much she likes you and how much of a good kid you are. She says I'm lucky to have a friend like you," I said. She smiled.

"Alright then, let's go," she said, walking over to my house. I followed her over and opened up the front door.

"Mom, Avery's over for dinner, is that okay?" I yelled.

"Sure, honey, it'll be ready by 5:00," my mom said. Anne, my younger sister, ran down the stairs and greeted us at the door.

"Avery!" she yelled, giving her a hug. Avery picked her up and hugged her back. She's only two, so it's not hard to carry her.

"Hi, Anne, how are you? I haven't seen you in a while," Avery said, smiling.

"We're having noodles for dinner, Avery. They're my favourite! Will you sit next to me?" Anne said.

Avery laughed. "Of course, sweetie, I'd love to sit next to you." Anne smiled and when Avery put her down, she ran upstairs again to go play with her Barbies or something.

"Wanna go hang in my room until dinner's ready?" I asked Avery. She nodded, and we went upstairs. She pulled her iPod out of her backpack and put it on my speaker. She started playing "As Long As You Love Me," by Justin Bieber and I laughed. She knew me so well. She started singing the song and dancing around. I danced with her, watching her moves, how well she can dance, how hot she looked dancing.

When it was almost time for Ludacris' part, she pointed at me, meaning she wanted me to rap it. We'd done this multiple times before, but every time she decides to remind me when my part comes up, just in case I "forget."

When the song was over, we laughed and she hugged me. I threw her onto my bed and layed down next to her, closing my eyes. She layed her head on my chest.

"Dustin?" she said. "Thanks. For everything."

"You're welcome," I said, putting my arm around her. We layed there listening to her iPod playing the other Justin Bieber songs on her play list for a while, with my arm around her and my head on her chest. She might not have thought this, but to me, it was a perfect moment. This is the Avery I know and love, and I'll do anything to keep her happy like she is now.