Offering You Can't Miss [Countryhumans Story]

9. Broken Mind

{Czechia's POV}

I can't... I CAN'T TAKE IT! Nightmares in day and nightmares in night, my whole life is nightmare. TR was asking only one question before he started. "Do you want it to stop? Then join me." I always said no, but this time I said yes. This time he broke me. I lost all my hope and became empty. I became someone else, I became him. I wanted to kill and he told me who.
Soviet.
He's responsible for this mess. He didn't saved me when he had chance, I should only call America. Soviet was the reason why I suffered. I want him dead like nothing else.
He gave me knife and let me go, he knew I'll not betray him, I want it. He gave me directions how to get to his house. This will be perfect.
I was at the place, his house with knife hide in my back. It was night and the doors weren't locked. I got in and saw Russia sleeping on couch. I looked in pretty long hallway, there were 6 doors. 4 of them were labelled with the siblings names and one had gun shots on it. It was Soviet's room, I got in. Soviet was peacefully sleeping on his bed, easy job, don't know how TR couldn't do it himself. I took out the knife and was ready to attack, when he woke up. I tried to attacked him anyway, but he stopped me. "What are you doing?" He was confused, but angry. I couldn't hold myself and started laughing. He looked at me unbelievably. He was holding my hand from attacking, but not the other one. I punched him in stomach and he let go of my hand, I immediately tried to stabbed him, but I missed, because he got down and grabbed my leg, making me fall. I let go of the knife and it flew on the other side of the room. He grabbed my hands and sat on me, making me unable to move. I was so angry, but his face full of fear made me laugh again, at least I can feel something other then nothingness. By this point Russia got in. He couldn't believe what he's seeing, neither of them.
Soviet knocked me down.
I woke up tied up to chair in dark room, like always. Soviet was right in front of me. I tried to free myself, but the ropes were tight. "Why did you attack me? Where is he now?" He said coldly. I stayed quiet. TR told me if someone catch me and ask something, I just have to be silent. When he realised I'm not gonna talk, so he got out and come back with mom. "Czechia... Please talk to me. Where is he?" She said sadly. I started laughing, this all was hilarious to me. "Where were you when he used me, bitch?" I said still laughing. She started crying. She's weak like I was. "What is it? It's too much for you?! It's nothing, you're just weak." I continued now more angry. She didn't care where I was, she only wanted that commie bastard.
Then she hugged me. "I was so worried, trying to find you everyday. Didn't sleep well and now you get here, but your not yourself anymore. He-" She said crying before I bit her to point of bleeding. Soviet wanted to get to me, but Czechoslovakia stopped him. "Come on, let him punch me! I know he want it." I tried to tease him closer to me. He sighed and left, leaving Czechoslovakia with me. She was just watching me for a little, before she started talking. "He did this to me, too. Used me, made me into someone else, but I never told you or your sister what he really did." She got my attention. I always knew she was hiding something, but didn't care much. "When Britain gave me to him, he used me and made me pregnant. I gave birth to twins. He took them away from me and I'd never seen them again. They probably died by his hands." I couldn't believe what she said. And I didn't. "You're lying. Like you always do. After I'll get out of here you'll never see me again and if you do wish I'm not going for you." I said smiling like psychopath. The anger was really strong. She left with horrified look, leaving me alone. I was in basement in our house, I was here quite a lot when I was like 15. It was always quite here without Soviet's directions. I know there are secret doors leading out of here, just I had to get rid of the chair. The chair was old and was in really bad shape. I swung back and it broke easily. I knew I hid here somewhere my lighter when I was smoking here, only place where Soviet didn't catch me, even though it was all over the house.
I found it under one box in here and got to the secret exit behind lots of boxes. Before I left I found in one of the boxes army knife, wow that was lucky. The exit had lots of cobwebs and spiders in it, but it was my way out. I had to get back to TR. It led to back garden. When I crawled out I saw my sister. "Czechia! I thought I'll never see you again." She hugged me. I was happy to see her, but now she's in my way, nobody is in my way. I hugged her back with one hand and with the other I took the knife. "I miss you too, sis. I'm sorry."  I said and stabbed her in back. She let out quite painful cry, before falling in my arms, dead. The anger was gone and replaced it happiness. It felt amazing knowing I'm not rag anymore. I laid her dead body on the grass and got back to TR. It was 30 minutes of walking, I had time to think.
When I got there I knocked on front doors. TR opened them smiling when he saw blood on me. He let me in and closed the doors. "So, you killed him?" He said smirking. "Well, someone died tonight for sure." I said sitting on couch. "And who did you kill?" He asked still smiling. "Slovakia." I said smiling at him, while he couldn't believe me. "You killed your own sister? Jesus, you're better then me. Are you even sad?" He looked at me, I wasn't crying, I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel anything again. "No, she was in my way. I had to do it." I was empty, without any other feeling then anger. "After they found her, they'll probably want me dead, I'll never be able to come back there. Now I'm stuck here with you, forever." I said carelessly, I would have to stay here anyway. "You didn't finish Soviet, but you'll now go for America and hope he don't know what happened to Soviet." He gave me new orders. "Yes, that sounds fine, but firstly I had to take shower because of the blood." I said and got up. "Well actually I think you need more." He took out gun and aimed on my shoulder. I didn't care even if he was aiming on my head. He shot through my shoulder, but I didn't feel it. Then I got to America. It was really long walk. I banged on the doors and surprise, surprise it was America. I fell on him tired, I lost lot of blood after all. America didn't get the memo I was with TR and happily nursed me. "Thank you, Ame." I said looking at him nursing my left shoulder. "It's nothing. It's the little I can after all what happened." He said smiling. "Ame, he was doing to me nasty things, but thinking about you gave me hope to get out." He stopped and looked into my eye. I got closer to him almost kissing him. I sneaked the knife behind his back pulling him closer. He closed him eyes to the kiss and I kissed him, that stopped me from stabbing him, it felt good. He was careful with me, not rough like TR, I like it. I laid the knife next to me and continued kissing him, but everything good have to be ruined.
I had to finish it after all. He started undressing me without stopping kissing me. I took the knife and shoved it in his back. This actually hurts. "I'm sorry." I said when he looked at me betrayed. I had tears in my eye, I didn't want it, not like this. He fell on ground, smiling. "It's okay..." That was his last words. I fell on my knees right next to him, crying. After I put myself back together, I hid the body somewhere they'll never find him. I took my shirt back and walked in the forest with him. I was still broken, it really hurt me, but I can't let anyone found him. I digged hole in middle of nowhere and put him there. I hid him with some leaves. I got back to TR, hope he was done for today. Wich he was and because I managed to kill my target he gave me my cigarettes. "Wow, pack of cigarettes for one kill. What a deal, Czechia." I said to myself, lighting first one of many I'll smoke tonight. I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway, so what's the point.
I fucked up badly, didn't I?