When Best Friends Love

CHAPTER TEN: EAVESDROP.

She sat on her bed feeling all sorts of pain in her chest. She tightly squeezed the soft pillow as she let the tears roll down her eyes. He is not worth it! He is not worth it! She had no-one standing by her side. She never told Aydah and Mahmud was still at the hospital. "Why?" She questioned as she looked at the off white pillow. She let a soft giggle escape. She was asking a pillow why her life was so miserable. She caressed its cotton cover and laid down on the bed. She rocked herself back and forth as she tried to forget everything about him which was not possible. She was still in love with him. Someone might think she's sick in the head when she tells them she'd give him a second chance if he comes back. She believed he was only angry that is why he did what he did. But his eyes showed so much seriousness and his words sounded true to her ears and hurtful to her heart.

Just six days ago she was with Mahmud, playing 'would you rather' but now she was at home; Heartbroken, depressed, downhearted, dejected and melancholy. Everyone thought she fainted because of stress from work. Mahmud was at the hospital wondering why she wasn't back when he woke up from his nap. He hoped nothing happened to her.

After a week, he got discharged but he still had a cast on. "I need you to do me a favor Aydah," he said while they were on their way home. "Can you take me to Manha's place before we go home? Please," he pleaded. Between her brothers, he was her favorite. He's always polite and asks for anything nicely unlike the king of the house, Mujahid. "But Yaya, aren't you tired now?"

"Why don't we go home and you freshen up first then later in the evening I'll take you," she spoke while her eyes were fixed on the road. "No, Aydah. I don't want Umma to know. If we go back home now she will never allow me to go anywhere," he explained. She sighed and nodded. They got to the house and headed in. It took Aydah more than 15 minutes to convince her to go talk to Mahmud.

The moment their eyes met, he could tell there was something wrong with his girl. He heaved a sigh and told Aydah to give them a minute. "You told me to take a nap, you'd be back in a minute but you just left me. I woke up and you weren't. I always wake up and see you by my side."

She shook her head, painful tears rolling down her red cheeks. He had never seen Maryam sit like that, so deflated. Her loose shoulders shook, her hands hanging low, making no attempt to conceal or even wipe away her own tears. Aside from her reddened face she was so grey looking and her hair was as dishevelled as the park under fall leaves. He had seen others cry like that and in every case it was a transition from a person with hope to one without. It was how he cried when he lost his mother. It's a kind of crying that shows the child underneath, that the hurt has cut right back through the protective layers acquired in matu.

She sniffed, trying to control her tears but it was avail. "I'm sorry," she apologized smiling, she couldn't look him in the eye that time. "I didn't even know what happened to me but all I could remember was your brother telling me he was using me."

He wasn't surprised about what Mujahid did. He couldn't interfere because their friendship would've ended and he wouldn't want that to happen. "Manha, look, I'm truly deeply sorry about what my brother did. I...." he trailed off and sighed. "No problem in your life is here to stay forever. Everything passes with time, just like your happy days were driven into the past, all your sorrows also will soon disappear and make way for new happy moments to seem in. I know it hurts to lose someone you love when you're not ready, it's painful, it hurts, you'd feel like the most unlucky person in the world but don't forget; you have loved ones. You have people that care about you. I'll always be with you no matter what, I promise."

For once in days, she felt a little bit okay. She had a little bit of Hope now. "Just try and delete everything about him. Delete him from your life and move on, you can do it," he assured her. "Sure I can delete his pictures, I can delete his number and texts. But, how can I delete his face and his voice and our memories. Mahmud I'm not going to lie to you, I want him back and I also want to get over him but neither are happening."