Hendrix ✓

37 ★ Foresight

𝕀𝕤𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕥 - 𝕎𝕒𝕝𝕜 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟

"Perhaps I lacked some foresight

I should have known

Sure as the setting sun

You can't trust just anyone"

Hendrix POV

After a few days of shock, I've sufficiently marinated in the news that I'm going to be a mother. It runs through my head over and over. I regret not taking the proper precautions, not preventing this from happening. But it happened, and I have to face the consequences.

I'm only 18 years old, and I'm going to have a baby. How did it come to this? I know how bodies work. I'm not stupid. How did it not occur to me or Cedric that a baby could be made? Were we that blinded?

I don't waste much time waiting around to find out, as soon as I'm over the distress, I'm back to my usual self, despite all of the throwing up. I invest myself fully in my waitressing, knowing that hard work will get me where I need to be. I need money. But I've already gone back to working full time, which means that I need a second job to make this work.

Despite the fact that I hate the idea, I scroll through job opportunities in town. It's slim pickings for sure, but I can't be picky right now. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

It doesn't take very long to get in touch with a manager at a local grocery store in need of a part time cashier. It pays well, better than my diner job. I'm quick to snatch it up.

The lady is nice at the interview, telling me that the job is mine if I want it. I do want it, because it's another paycheck that goes to my baby. There's only one problem.

I have to quit school.

Every night when I come home from the diner, stinking like food, I run over the pros and cons in my head while I rub my still flat stomach. I love school, I love learning, but I already love this baby more. This child is a part of me, and Cedric. This child will be my life. I can always go back to school. I just have to stay afloat right now, for the baby.

Not only is school a time suck, but every time it comes time for me to pay tuition, it nearly breaks the bank. For now, I'll steadily pay off my student loans and take a break from classes. That's what I tell myself when I go to the school counselor to let her know I'm done.

I'm not dropping out, it's just a break. But if that's the case, then why do I feel like I'm giving up?

I start at the grocery store, and time seems to speed up. I'm working 70 hours a week altogether. I hardly have time to stop and breathe, let alone eat, and yet I'm gaining more and more weight with each passing day.

I sell my bike on Craigslist and finally get myself a car. When I have the baby, I know I'll need better transportation than a bike. Baby will need a car seat, and air bags. I luck out when I spot a used Honda for only $3,000. That also means car insurance, but it's worth it.

And even though I know the bills are expensive, I attempt to have my prenatal doctor's appointments. They insist that it's important, and I agree. I want my baby to be healthy.

After the second visit, they tell me that I'm not actually 2 and a half months like I'd told them. The doctor tells me that I'm almost 5 months telling by the ultrasound. He wouldn't take no for an answer, not even when I explained that I hadn't had sex until the first week of December, and it's only mid February.