FRIDA' S LIST

Chapter 13 A New boyfriend

Saturday morning was terrible. I was supposed to work on my exams, but I couldn't. How I hated my fucking life! All I could do was thinking about what had happened to me with Anthony. And I didn't get it. Why did he refuse to sleep with me?! I was done listening to Louise, or Maeva or anyone! I was on my own now!

I took a hot shower and wore blue jeans with a white sweat-shirt. I straightened my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror. My nose seemed too big. Or maybe it was because of my mouth. Or my butt! And my breasts! The whole day, in the back of my mind, I had kept waiting for his call, even though I didn't wanna admit it. But, unfortunately, nothing happened but this long silence. I told nobody about our last "meeting". I couldn't tell anyone about it. Cousin Philip and his mother came home for dinner on Saturday night. The same night, Rachel threw a party and for once she invited me. I was pretty sure that she did it on purpose, knowing I wasn't available. Maeva and Celestin went to the party this time, and I felt betrayed. I had this feeling to be a prisoner. I was sat at the table, watching my folks eating pork all night. Did they really need me for that? How I hated my life!

On Sunday morning, my parents left to go on vacation with Grandma, Cousin Philip and his mother. And I just wandered around in the apartment. I kept thinking about what Anthony had said. I looked at my papered walls and tore all these pictures of Mowgli, and his friends. It was time for a change.

On Monday, I went to school. I was the first one in the classroom. I looked around and watched my classmates one by one as they were walking in. And I began to make a list. Who was still a virgin? Who was not? As if it mattered.

Then I thought about Anthony. I was still thinking about him, when Lucas came next to me, taking Maeva's seat.

"Hey, Frida," he said.

I smiled at him, quietly.

"So, what's up?" he asked, with a warm smile.

My life sucks! Last week, I tried to have sex with a guy, and he turned me down! I thought to myself.

"Nothing," I replied instead, looking ahead at the blackboard in front of me.

Maeva came into the classroom and raised her eyebrows enquiringly at me when she saw Lucas sat next to me. I shrugged and raised my eyebrows in reply. She was probably thinking what I was thinking: What the hell?! The bell rang.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I don't have all your papers today," Mr. Tozat started.

"Look, I don't know if you heard the rumor, but I broke up with Rosalyn," Lucas went on, peeking sideways at me.

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Sorry," I added.

"Yeah, it's not a big deal. You always have to watch what you're saying with her. You never can skip the shit, you know what I mean," he said.

I had no idea what he meant to say, but I kept nodding as if everything were crystal clear for me. I didn't immediately grasp what he was looking for. I just thought "Strange, he's talking to me."

"It's not like we were married," he went on, staring at me.

I nodded in silence. Our teacher pursed his lips, looking at us.

"You've changed," Lucas murmured, with a strange smile.

Mr. Tozat cleared his throat, but Lucas didn't pay attention to him.

"What do you mean?" I whispered.

"I mean, you're pretty now."

Oh, my God! What's going on? Is he hitting on me, now?! I thought to myself.