"This is stupid, Vagatha." groaned a certain princess' tired voice.
"It's not! Really, it'll work Charles! Just trust me on this!" Smiled back the moth demon, hugging her girlfriend tightly.
"It'll work."
Charlotte rolled her eyes, but kissed her lover on the forehead.
"Okay, I'll do it. For you."
Grabbing her folders she marched towards the set, exuding a powerful aura.
Standing near the news set was a woman, decked out in a light blue dress with tacky jewelry adorned. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, and her smile widened at the sight of Charlotte.
"Oh oh it's so nice to meet you! I'm a huge fan of you and your works, especially the red rooms! So incredible!" The woman gushed.
The Princess internally retched.
"I'm so glad you're able to guest star on our show! I wasn't even sure if you knew this existed!"
"How would I not after getting the many, MANY, emails from you..."
"Oh so you did get them! I'm so glad they went through!"
Charlotte only hummed in response.
"Oh where are my manners? I'm Katie Merrymaker, huge fan of yours-"
"You already said that"
"-And it's so amazing that you're here I could literally scream - AAAAAHHHH! Sorry I'm just really excited and-"
Before Katie could continue, Tom whistled her over, signaling they were about to go live.
Katie gave one last smile before dragging Charlotte over to the set and forcefully sitting her down onto a plush red chair. The cameraman counted down till the familiar 666 news jingle played.
"Hello my lovely sinners! I'm Katie Merrymaker!" Announced the peppy demon, smiling.
"And I'm Tom Trench." Said the male demon sitting next to her, equipped with a gas mask and suit. Not too far you could hear a gunshot from..somewhere.
"And today we have a very special guest! Everyone please welcome the princess of hell, Charlotte!" She squealed, clapping enthusiastically.
Charlotte only gave a deadpan stare to the camera and before turning back to Katie as emotionless as before.
"So I heard you have this new project to show off! Please tell us all about it!" She pleaded.
Charlotte just sighed, moving her hair out of her face. This was getting annoying fast. She was about to get up and leave until she saw her girlfriend standing in the crowd behind the camera with a hopeful look.
Charlotte couldn't bring herself to let Vagatha down.
She took a deep breath before letting out her spiel.
"We are going to create a way to get annoying sinners out of hell, through redemption. I have set up a hotel that will help rehabilitate you filthy heathens so that you can finally get out of my hair and go to heaven." It was short, as to be expected of Charlotte, but nonetheless made an impact amongst others.
"I can finally see my ma!"
"I'll be able to be with my daughter!"
"Oh my dearest, I can finally tell you how much I loved you and how sorry I am for killing you!"
Cheers and cries erupted from the crowd.
"This is so stupid." Muttered Charlotte.
Suddenly, there was the breaking news jingle.
Tom immediately took charge as Katie was too busy gushing over how great the princess was.
"Breaking news everyone! There is a turf war going on down in Pentagram Square! Let's look at the news footage, shall we?"
In the live feed showed the local spunky cat demon, throwing cocktail Molotovs at the Egg Men (plus Sir Penny swaddled in a shell). Beside him was none other than hell's laughing stock, Alastor. Alastor was adorning a green palette, including his hair - except for the darkened purple tips.
Upon seeing him, everyone in the studio laughed, especially when he got blasted in the face by a cannon.
Charlotte placed her head in her hands.
"Godammit Alastor....."
Katie moaned lewdly. "Oh I wish the Egg Men would blast me~"
Tom also put his head in his hands.
"Godammit Katie....."
This was going to be a long day.
It was a silent drive to the hotel. Husk has long since abandoned Alastor the moment he saw the limo. Alastor was sitting across them, scooting closer every now and then towards them (then getting told to scoot back far away from the two female demons).
It was silent.
.....
"So....." Alastor started.
"Yeah...heh, that was something!" Vagatha tried to add, nervously glancing at Charlotte.
Charlotte only continued to glare at Alastor, causing both of them to shut up the rest of the ride.
YOU ARE READING
Welcome to Hazbin Hell!
FanfictionAn AU that doesn't make sense. Alastor is hell's biggest loser, Charlie is indifferent, Vaggie is obsessive, Niffty is grumpy, and Angel is one of the most powerful overlords there is to reign in hell.
