In Too Deep

3. Naomi

"Cause we could never be each others thing everything, you got a wedding ring, So it's her instead of me, but I'll be your second string, now and forever because I'm not happy here with him"

My Mom was young when she had me, she was a wilful child according to my late grandmother, stubborn to the core she said and it was no surprise that at the age of fifteen my Mom found herself in a spot of bother.

When her belly got too round to hide and her school clothes would no longer fit her she had to come clean to her parents, she was pregnant with me.
My Grandmother wanted her to put me up for adoption but my parents refused point blank, they got engaged before I arrived and married shortly after my mother turned 16.

It was a mistake of course and ten years later they split and my time was shared equally between the two of them. I would fly back and forth between New York and Michigan on a weekly basis and despite all of this I can honestly say I’d  had a really happy childhood and I liked to think I was a kind and decent person but I did have my Mom’s tenacious streak coursing through my blood stream.

My Mom had met husband number two, six years ago and from what I could tell and the phone calls we’d shared about him back then they seemed head over heels for each other. He was like no one I’d ever met before, the day she introduced us something happened to me, something wound up tight snapped and my body came alive, I was a twenty five year old virgin, never met a man I could envisage losing it too but this guy, he made me feel things, I felt sparks when he hugged me, a pressure in my belly that I couldn’t explain. He was so handsome, kind and extremely generous.

He was also a world wide famous legend.

A year after meeting my future step father we had sex for the first time, five years later our secret affair remained undiscovered and we were both in too deep.

The thing about it is, is that I couldn’t sit here and tell you I was in love with him, I wasn’t so sure about that and he never alluded that he felt anything other than lust for me.

I know people will assume that he groomed me in some way, brain washed me into bed without any thought of how this would effect my Mom but he didn’t, I knew exactly what I was doing, I knew how wrong it was and I knew the outcome if it was ever discovered. Marshall did feel guilt over it, I know he did, I could see it in his quiet reflective moments, we were the worst kind of people and we deserved one another.
He risked losing his wife and I risked never being able to talk and speak to the one person in my life that I had always relied on but none of that meant anything when Marshall and I were together, we did not have the will power to stop, sure over the years we’d both tried to end it but without any success.

Though I would lay awake in bed at night with my boyfriend asleep beside me craving his touch, I would text him and tell him what I wanted from him and if he could we’d both sneak out and either fuck in his car or at the usual motel we met at, if we couldn’t I’d masturbate quietly next to a sleeping Dean thinking about my hot Step Father.

At family gatherings we’d act normal, like loving step father and daughter, he got on really well with Dean and it would be as if nothing had ever happened between us. It was a fucked up thing to have let happen and I loved my Mom but The pull of him was too much to try and avoid.

He was everything to me those first few times, I didn’t come not for months after we first started, he was gentle and respectful but all I had felt was discomfort and the heavy weight of guilt pushing down on me but as time unfolded and I began to lose my inhibitions, open up to him, I pushed the guilt to the side pretended I wasn’t doing the shitty things I was doing and he showed me the things that my body could do, he pushed me every time and I loved it, he kept me coming back for more.