born this way

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"All right, guys. Nationals are just a few weeks away, and it's time to bear down. Okay, your singing at Regionals was amazing, but your dancing...It's booty camp time." Mr Shue announced as we stood on stage in the auditorium.

"Booty!" Artie shouted out.

"So let's get it going. Five, six, seven, eight. Push yourselves, guys. Vocal Adrenaline takes no prisoners." We started doing some moves until
Finn smacks Rachel in the nose with his arm, She falls to the ground holding her nose.

"Oh! I'm so sorry." Finn rushes over to her, as does Mr Shue, "Are you okay?"

"I'm bleeding." She states out, "Let's get you to a doctor." Mr Shue suggests as they carry her out.

I look around at everyone, "let's just continue." I shrug and continue doing the routine.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

We sit in the choir room the next day as Rachel stands upfront, telling us what she's doing.

"Oh my God, you're getting a nose job." I gasp out,
"I'm...considering having a minor procedure to repair my deviated septum."

"So, a nose job." Santana corrects, "Look, I'm... I'm happy with the way that I look, okay? And I've embraced my nose. But let's say I wanted to have a slightly more demure nose. Like Abby's, for example. I-I would never change my appearance for vanity, but, I mean, the doctor said that it could possibly improve my talent, which would help us all for Nationals." I give her a look, why would she want my nose?

"Possibly? What about the risks? Your voice is amazing as is, Rachel." Mr Shue tells her.

"Hold up. Could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel's got a bit of a schnoz. I mean, I wouldn't know because, like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things that we wouldn't change about ourselves? I mean, I'm sure that Sam's been at the doctor's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction." I rub Sam's back as he covers his mouth, "I'm also sure Abby has tried to get surgery to remove her chubby thighs." I self consciously cross my legs, "I'll bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyways. And I'm definitely sure that Tina's looked into getting an eye de-slanting."

"That's extraordinarily racist." Tina says offended,
Santana shrugs, "I'm keepin' it real."

"Sorry, Santana. I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself, and I would never change a thing." Tina says, "Is that why you're wearing blue contacts today, Tina?" Mike points out, he murmurs, "Self-hating Asian."

"Not many Asian sex symbols, Mike. I'm just trying to be in fashion and mirror what I see in the magazines." Tina admits, shrugging.

"My dancing kind of bothers me. Uh, it almost killed Rachel, but I like the way I look." Finn says, I give him a nod of approval.

"Oh, please. You have weird, puffy pyramid nipples. They look like they're filled with custard." Sam tries to look at Finn's nipples but Finn slaps him away, "You could dust them with powdered sugar and they could pass for some sort of dessert. Look, maybe Rachel's fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I'm saying is that if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it." I look at Santana offended.

"Whoa, guys. I'm really shocked at what I'm hearing here. It goes against everything the glee club stands for. I'm telling you, the thing you would most like to change about yourself is the most interesting part of you." Mr Shue tells us.

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