Nyctophilia

12. I don't want to be afraid anymore...

I find myself tugging and pulling
At everyone
Out of fear of releasing something beautiful.
Out of fear of sucking in something parasitic.
I no longer feel safe and secure in my judgement and wisdom to tell the difference.
I know though that I can't trust the judgement and wisdom of everyone else, because it may come from a place of pain, or ulterior motivations, or just ignorance.
And I look to the stars to find something, and answer, but I turn away too quickly in fear that nothing is even there.