Aftermath of It All

I Dont Want to Be Vulnerable

It started in October, I started losing the war in my mind
I ended up spiralling, but I don't want to fall and die
But dealing with anxiety can be a hard thing, and I don't understand why
And when they say I'm useless, I just want to cry

I'm trying to keep my shit together
When will this war in my mind be over?
I'm trying not to break down

I'm only just a boy, trying to face this war alone
But I don't want to be vulnerable
Been riding a new road, trying not to crash and burn
But I don't want to be vulnerable

I'm sorry i said this, didn't mean to lush out
Lost everything I ever thought I wanted, now I can't be bothered going out 
I saw the crush of my life, crush me when he said goodbye
Stabbed me right in the heart
Now i want to die

Trying to keep my shit together
When will this war be over?
I'm trying so hard not to break down

I'm only just a boy, trying to face this war alone
But I don't want to be vulnerable
Been riding on a new road, trying not to crash and burn
But I don't want to be vulnerable

I'm driving back home, going past my favourite places
My hearts have been trying to handle this
Nobody knows it, I'm slowly losing it 

 I never show it.
I never really show it

I'm supposed to be the guy that never does this
They want me to be some racist/ homophobe that stands for nothing
Nobody knows it, I'm slowly losing it

I'm losing it...

I'm only just a boy, trying to face this war alone
But I don't want to be vulnerable
No
Been riding on a new road, trying not to crash and burn
But I don't want to be vulnerable