TF2 Oneshots & Imagines!

Bro-Job. [Scout x Male! Reader, NSFW]

You're diagnosed with something and need help getting off. 'Nuff said.

2098 words.

~x~

This was so damn awkward. You've been a mercenary for how long now? You've had plenty of physical exams. But this one? This one's different in a way that might as well be the end of the world. Medic stood from his kneeling position, humming and scribbling something down on his clipboard.

"Hm.. So, (Y/N).. jou said zhat jou have been having slight pains and tension in jour.. lower areas?"

"Yeah.. what's wrong, Doc?"

"I believe jou have somezing called epididymal hypertension, more commonly known as 'blue balls.' Jou are only in the early stages, so it is not zhat severe. Have jou been getting jourself off?"

"N-Not often.."

"Vhen vas zhe last time you did it?"

"I don't remember."

"Zhat clears it up. No need to worry, jou just need to get jourself off once or twice, and do it religiously so zhis doesn't happen again."

"How many times do you recommend..?"

"A couple times a month, not too much. Jou should be fine, mein freund." Medic gently patted your back with a smile. "Now go on, get jour clothes and do jour business. I have other men to examine."

You meekly nodded and slipped your clothes back on, exiting the Med Bay with a flushed red face. How could you do this on your own? You were so focused on your work that you found no women attractive sexually anymore.. what were you supposed to do? Fantasize about grapefruits? Hell no!

Sighing to yourself, you came to a conclusion. You decided to ask your best friend, the Scout, for help with your problem. He was already examined, so he should probably be in his room by now. Right? Yeah..

You walked up to Scout's bedroom door and silently huffed, mentally preparing yourself for the short bit embarrassing speech you were gonna give. Raising your fist, you knocked your knuckles against the door.

"Hey uh.. Scout? You in there? I need your help.." you called out softly.

"Yeah! Come in!" Scout called back. You walked in with your face still a bright red. "Woah.. bro, you okay?"

"No, I'm not." You groaned. "The Doc diagnosed be with something and I need your help."

"What'd the Doc day?" He cocked an eyebrow up at you.

"It's called uh.. epididymal hypertension." You pressed your index fingers together and mumbled.

"Epiduh- wha?" Scout tilted his head.

"Blue balls, Scout. I haven't.. been getting myself off." You grumbled.

That caught him off guard. "O..Oh. And you want my help with it?"

You nodded slowly. "What am I even supposed to think of?"

"...Okay, bro to bro, I'll help you out.. this once." Scout blushed, signaling you to sit next to him in bed.

"A-Alright.." you sat, looking at him. Your faces were an identical shade of red now.

"Whatever is done in this room.. stays in this room. Ya got it?" Scout spoke shakily, almost equally as embarrassed as you were.

"What're you impl— mmnh!" Your sentence was cut off by Jeremy's lips pressed against yours, the kiss soft and slippery. You didn't know what to do at first.. but then it hit. You wanted this.. you wanted to do this. For the sake of your diagnosis, of course. Bro to bro. Nothing more.. right?